Castaways

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The equivalent of an island adrift
in a passionate sea: we are the rock of
reason sinking into what the senses lack
--imagination.

An oil spill that ebbs and flows against
the reasoned continents, we stand on
seashores next to angels; oblivious or
maybe indifferent.

As our answers give way to more questions,
we find ourselves wondering whether John chose
the wild or was it because he had no choice,

because the weight of the world is less urgent
under the open sky, or maybe

because he knew that we see best without the
surf in our eyes.
The individual leads in actual fact a double life, one in which he is an end to himself and another in which he is a link in a chain which he serves against his will or at least independently of his will.
--SIGMUND FREUD




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Cameron wrote:The equivalent of an island adrift
in a passionate sea: we are the rock of
reason sinking into what the senses lack
--imagination.(beautiful! the wording and punctuation is perfect, and the image is exceptional. i wouldn't change anything about this.)

An oil spill that ebbs and flows against
the reasoned continents, we stand on
seashores next to angels; oblivious or
maybe indifferent.(i love the way you give the image of the oil spill ebbing and flowing, because flowing is a beautiful image, but considering that it is an oil spill makes it unique. and the last line is outstanding.)

As our answers give way to more questions,
we find ourselves wondering whether John chose
the wild or was it because he had no choice,

because the weight of the world is less urgent
under the open sky, or maybe(this really appeals to the spirit, right here. i love this part best.)
because he knew that we see best without the
surf in our eyes.


this was great overall. the sea is a beautiful image. it reminds me of the awakening, which is one of my favorite books, even though in that it is concrete. here's a quote: "how strange and awful it seemed to stand naked under the sky! how delicious! she felt like some new-born creature, opening its eyes in a familiar world it had never known. the foamy wavelets curled up to her white feet, and coiled like serpents about her ankles. she walked out. the water was chill, but she walked on. the water was deep, but she lifted her white body and reached out with a long, sweeping stroke. the touch of the sea is sensuous, enfloding the body in its solf, close embrace."

so, again. great job. i'll definitely be reading more of your work.
how many lands behind me? how many seas?




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Well, wysteria pretty much covered everything I was going to say. The sea is a beautiful thing, and this gave me a great mental image of it. It's a fantastic poem in my opinion, keep up the good work!
If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. ~Lord Byron

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I regret everything.
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