suicide bridge.

( here is a poem i made at school it is a bit rubbish but it is rather amusing it was made a long time ago)

To all the people out there reading this poem's gonna give a strange strange feeling.
It's about a bridge,
and a guy called midge,
who suffers a great deal of paining.
The children they see it,
as a wonderful exhibit.
When the possessed jump of it.
They never new that was there destiny,
so they sat back and had a glass of tea.
Now this boy named Midge,
Was dared by someone called Smidge,
To jump of this bridge,
So of he went and jumped the bridge,
And that was the last they talked of Smidge.




(by the way this poem is set in in a unparllel universe were there's pictures of bee's on nickels!)

lol... umm... ok.......

*cough*

This doesn't seem like much of a serious post, so I won't take too long to critique it.

1. Don't show us your rubbish, why should we waste time on something even you think is crap?

2. learn how to properly use grammar and spelling. You seem to have a homophone problem.

3. Take this seriously. That doesn't mean write funny poems (I write funny poems too!) it just means be serious about your work; if you aren't serious about what you are doing, no one else will care.

Some few lines I liked, perhaps the idea of there being a bridge of suicide that children admire, but otherwise it was just... "rubbish". Sorry.

I'm still trying to figure out if you're serious or not.

i was trying 2 be serious but i couldnt think of anything.

Ah everyone is so mean but I think at the end you mean midge not smidge.
I think this was quite a funny poem a bit like a limerick maybe it should be in other poems instead?
Your sister,
Charlotte