failed life support

if i was ever to hear the drowning sound
of the life support that only failed
upon my entrence, now bleeding down
from my head under my nails
and if i were to see you lying there
with a knife thrust in anger
portruding from your wedding gown
i'd fade, like the life support
and in regret drown.

Though it was rather... high strung with emotions, the way it was short and the way it flowed captured me. Some lines I didn't like, but... over all, it was good.

Though, like in your last one, you had a lack of proper punctuation and capitalization (these things are important!! Don't ignore them!!!)

if i was ever to hear the drowning [you should change this, since you use drown later on too. Maybe another D word, Droning?] sound
of the life support that [s]only[/s] failed
upon my [s]entrence[/s] entrance, now bleeding down
from my head under my nails
and if i were to see you lying there
with a knife thrust in anger[comma]
[s]portruding[/s] protruding from your wedding gown
i'd fade, like the life support
and in regret drown.

I changed some stuff, though still commas could be put in some other parts.

The section I underlined: I don't get it. It's visual, but I can't even understand what you are trying to explain.

I think if you changed that line, and maybe read over it once or twice to think of something you could fix this would be really, really good. Also: Don't forget to spell check! I did it for you, as noted about.

Good job! I really did like it, in the end.

good poem

it makes me a bit sad!