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PORK EPIC #1
Baxter Pines’ wonderful invention overshadowed Lod.
It was an airship.
It was the biggest airship in the world. Others had tried to match Baxter Pines in size, both in respect to his ambition and his technical feats of wonder. Every time his pursuit nipped at his heels he took another great leap forward. This was his latest.
The airship was burnished silver, throwing off great gleaming streaks of sunlight as it floated above Lod’s Airship Port. The port was, in fact, simply an extension of Pines’ magnificent headquarters, yet several months earlier the mayor of Lod had announced it to be the official Port. Pines had agreed to the arrangement with the good grace of a man about to come into a large sum of tax money.
A single tower ascended from the Port, the tallest in Lod (another record on Pines’ list). It was pockmarked with ten separate docking stations; all of them empty save the highest, to which the Pines Titan was moored. Twin elevator shafts ascended the centre like a pair of veins. One of them was currently in use. Inside, Pines was rising towards his new masterpiece, staring out the glass windows at the slowly dwindling cityscape and contemplating his ‘fantastic journey,’ as it had been dubbed.
He was a slim man, weighing in at two-hundred-and-fifty pounds. He looked good in his white flight suit. The gelled moustache at the tip of his snout curled with an air of sophistication, as per the current fashion. It was one that he himself had set.
After a long ten-minute ride, accompanied by the creaks and groans of the elevator as it struggled to defy gravity, Pines reached his destination. Docking Station No. 1 lacked a roof, allowing those who stood upon it a largely unbroken view (the blimp blocked out a decent portion of the scenery) of the city and the surrounding hills.
Pines ignored the flight crew and dock master who awaited him at the summit. Instead, he walked industriously—as he did everything—to the railing and fixed the city with his usual thoughtful and unintentional scowl. His expression betrayed his feelings; for he was truly saddened to be bidding farewell to his home. Thousands of brick and stone buildings stretched out before him, separated by the packed roads that flowed like a grid throughout Lod. Parklands had been forgotten during the city’s construction, but it was not something Pines regretted. He loved Lod for what it was.
“Mr. Pines?” the dock master asked carefully.
Pines grunted and turned. The dock master shied from his hard gaze (also unintentional).
“Have all the preparations been made?” Pines demanded.
The dock master nodded vigorously, jowls shaking.
"The Titan is at full air capacity?” he pressed.
“Yes, sir!” The dock master assured him.
“The coal canisters are all full?” Pines continued, bombarding the poor dock master. His manner was growing more flamboyant and zealous with each question.
“Yes!” the dock master almost squealed.
“The fins have been analysed and re-analysed to ensure stability and flexibility!?” Pines spat with furious insistence.
“Yes! Yes!” replied the dock master with growing concern.
Pines fell silent. His small black eyes bored into the dock master’s.
A broad grin suddenly surfaced on Pines’ snout. “Excellent!” he declared, slapping the dock master companionably on the shoulder as he swept past him. The dock master sagged with relief and wiped his forehead.
The team of specially-picked young men and women that Pines had selected for his ‘fantastic journey’ stood to attention as he approached them. All of them had experienced some military training of varying sorts, and it was for this shared discipline that he had picked them. Among them was a navigator, a cartographer, a linguistics expert and two technicians, as well as several “army gents” as Pines enjoyed calling them.
Pines, of course, was the captain.
Dramatically, he clasped his hands behind his back and studied the bright morning sky. His scrupulous gaze then befell the recruits. An ominous anticipation suffused the air.
“I suppose you’ll do,” he said, a twinkle in his eye.
The team did not know how to react to his peculiar and demeaning statement. Unanimously silence was the only reply. Pines rolled his eyes and snorted.
“Lighten up, you wet towels! We’re about to go on the adventure of a life time. Everyone’s calling it our fantastic journey! Gold and ancient artifacts, exotic women and noble savages, they say!” Pines winked. “You and I know better, but let the masses enjoy themselves. One thing is for certain: we’re pioneers. So, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for an adventure?”
Reclaiming some of their vigour, the crew cheered agreement. Pines shook their hands and led them into the Titan’s gondola, while the dock master and his crew began disengaging the airship.
As the massive ship began pulling away from the dock, the dock master called out to the elated Pines.
“You never told anyone where exactly you’re going, Mr. Pines!” he shouted.
A strange smile warped Pines’ mouth.
“If we come back, I’ll let you know.”
