How To Write A Poem

How To Write A Poem

Hear a word
draw a sound.
See a picture
that's profound.

Think on colors,
dream on clouds.
Touch the skies,
it never dies.

Catch a flower
or a rose.
It doesn't matter;
let's suppose.

Grab the paper
and some pens.
Write all over
just have fun.
It doesn't need
to rhyme.
Or make sense.

Foreseer,


This might well be a contender in the Bulwer-Lytton contest. The two "it" in L4 of S2 is referring to--what? The clouds, or the skies, or something else altogether?

Two things struck me about this: 1. You appear to have put very little effort into building an effective assonance and rhyming pattern, and 2) you have loosed a hemmorhage of fragmentary platitudes to accomplish the rhyming.

There's very little in the narrative or execution that points at any potential worth returning to an investment in editing.


Best,
Brad

It flows very nicely, and you didn't seem to have trouble with rhyming; however. It doesn't seem like a real poem to me. I don't know how to phrase it. As Icandescence has pointed out, I'm also wondering what the "it" in L4 S2 is.
Overall: 5/10.

~Sumi

The verses that worked (1 and 3) were really, really good. I especially likes the first stanza. But then you got off track in your rhyme on the second one, and dropped the four-line arrangement and the rhyme completely by the fourth. clean it up, don't throw it out. You've got something good, so go build Rome in top of it.

I have to agree that there were a few issues with this. I liked stanzas 1 and 3...but the other two were just alllll discombobulated. The main thing I see as a problem here is the last stanza. It doesn't rhyme [which I believe you did on purpose and that is okay] but it also doesn't conclude anything. The reader expects there to be some dramatic conclusion or final decision or something on the end, and the last stanza here could be throw pretty much anywhere and it wouldn't seem out of place.

Happy editing.
WM

I thought it was... cute, but not profound.

The last stanza does not work!

You suddenly break your pattern, and it ends on a weak note. Fix that, and it might be a nice, cute little reminder to all poets.

The first verse was excellent! I actually liked the last stanza because it went with what the poem was saying about not needing rhyme or needing to make sense.
Really nice concept. I enjoyed it.