nephesh [נֶ֫פֶשׁ]

table of contents:
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.

i.

these things remain: coconut. black knots in my hair, by the nape. the bitters in the bottom of the glass. the rind of the coconut.

in his room, the window is open. he kisses my wrists. i touch his. i trace lines on him, relentingly, then my lip combo's on his cheek, hues of brown. riven from me is nothing, in this room. cooking on the television, almond, turmeric, these things remain. i feel close to the constellations, now.

ii.

"if a body lies in the open, lonely field," the verse goes, "the levites take an unblemished cow to a valley." they take her to a valley, gently. gently, to redeem the killed, to be contrite over it, the levites take her to this valley. this isn’t a ritual though. it’s not right. there’s no blood, no rite, no uttering, no threshold, no tent. they break the cow’s unyoked neck in the river. they leave her there. i’m the cow.

iii.

This God, nascent in the Old Testament, is a covenant, thunder God. He comes to you in lights, in grey clouds, in the cool of July. His name—YHWH—is the feel of the quiet, then the boom, the inhale of the clouds. Then, the exhale of the thunder.