Fire

(Here is a poem i just wrote about fire. read it and let me know what you think. enjoy!)



FIRE


Fire.
It is not just the thing that keeps you warm in your house or at camp. It the thing that razes forests and destroys buildings and villages and towns. It is the thing that burns everything in its path.
It is a murderer. It is a killer. It has no compassion for anything. It has no mind. All it knows is that it must reduce as much as it can to cinders.
However, this fire has a yin to its yang. It has a spouse.
Smoke.
Smoke is the true terror. How can you run away… when you have no breath to support you?
It is a silent killer. even If you were in the lightest sleep and smoke surrounded and completely engulfed you in its fumes, you would not wake….ever.
Fire destroys, smoke kills.
Fire is the gun, smoke is the bullet.
Fire is the snake, smoke is the poison.
Fire is the ocean, smoke is the shark.
Water… is the savior.

The structure here is way off. Ahum. It doesn't look like a poem at all, just some scrambled sentences. This needs alot of editing either to post it as a poem or make some short prose of it. I like your descriptions there's alot you can do with them.

Fire destroys, smoke kills.
Fire is the gun, smoke is the bullet.
Fire is the snake, smoke is the poison.
Fire is the ocean, smoke is the shark.
Water… is the savior.

this is nice and suits well for a poem

I see you've been experimenting here and there, I'd suggest you look around and look at most poems' structure, and try it yourself.

You've got something here, only it is so well hidden.

Cheerios, Chandni