Anatomy of Love's First Kiss

When the giants came
to steal her soul away, she
went without a fight.

For a haiku, I like it. My favorite aspect of it is how you incorporated "she", after the comma, on the same line. I realize this was for the reason of rules, but I'm glad you didn't attempt to edit the syllables so that the line break and comma met.

"Giants"? I wonder why you call them so.

I like it. I especially like how the length of the poem matched the resignation of the subject, as well as left us in more of a mystery than a longer poem would. I pictured her with a small smile, a bit of mystery retained. I'm not crazy about the title, though - maybe just because it didn't quite fit with the image I conjured up. But I also thought it was a little long for such a short poem. I love the word "anatomy" there, though. It's actually not a bad title, when I think of it separate from the poem. I'm just not sure they quite fit together. Hmm. I'll have to come back to that. Anyway, very well done, especially for a haiku. Haikus are a much misunderstood style, and it's nice to see one so well presented.

I liked it but...


I'm left without something. Maybe its because it was so short, as it is a haiku. It is good, most certainly it is good! But I feel left without something, like I said exactly above >< I feel obligated to critique it though; As you critique my poems, and I think you are a good poet. But I really don't have a whole lot to say about this.

Pardonnez-moi...

I love the way you said so much in so few words. It feels complete and doesn't force you to realize it's a haiku, it just kind of is. Does that make any sense at all?
'Giants' is interesting and unexpected, and the title is intriguing. Sorry, I have no real critique. Very nice.

cadmium wrote:When the giants came
to steal her soul away, she
went without a fight.

Haiku's generally a sort of poem too short to critique. Certainly there's no need of a line by line. ^_^

This is a departure from traditional haiku - it is not a scene, nature or otherwise; it's nearly a story in which the title adds context. In the past tense, it leaves only a somewhat mournful meditation - but that sense is what makes it good haiku, I hope?


I enjoyed it.

IMP