Science Class

8 posts
Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 17
No,
I don't know what happens exactly if I mix this and this together,
But I know no one's tried it, and no ones found a cure for cancer. This might be it.
Can't hurt to try.

No,
I don't know how many carbon atoms there are exactly in fossil fuels,
But I know that theres not enough to last my generation through our eighties.
That's what matters.

No,
I don't know how many watts of electricity the average household uses,
But I know it could be cut down a lot with just a little tiny bit of effort from people,
That's the big picture.

No,
I don't know the heart rate per minute of the Great Panda,
But I know it will be nothing at all if we don't stop destroying it's environment,
Thats more important.

Yes,
I do know not many people care about these issues,
But I know soon it will directly affect them, and then they will have to care .
Can't hurt to try.
That's what matters.
That's the big picture.
That's more important.

"It will never happen to me." It will.
"That's just horrible." Do something.
"It's not my fault." Not part of the solution, part of the problem.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 4825
Reviews 236
ah, I see we think alike! I loved it! I've been trying to write a poem to this affect for months. Very good job.
One little crit. The last stanza,

that's what matters,
That's more important,
That's the big picture,


seemed too repetitive. I would stick with just "that's the big picture," but that's just me. Brava! :wink:
“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” - Freya Stark




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1125
Reviews 368
That was nice.Frankly speaking I started liking the poem from the second stanza.It was a bit funny too.

Good job.

carelessaussie13 wrote:ah, I see we think alike! I loved it! I've been trying to write a poem to this affect for months. Very good job.
One little crit. The last stanza,

that's what matters,
That's more important,
That's the big picture,

seemed too repetitive. I would stick with just "that's the big picture," but that's just me. Brava!


Is that really the last stanza?I thought this is also included
"It will never happen to me." It will.
"That's just horrible." Do something.
"It's not my fault." Not part of the solution, part of the problem.


Keep writing and posting. :)
"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 32885
Reviews 2058
It was good, well written.

My only complaint is it felt like it got a little too preachy.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 17
soz its not meant to be preachy!

x frm lucy
Superman can fly, Spiderman has web powers, but only Batman has his own lighthouse.

*They called her that and they called it again. The day was done.*




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 116
It was good. I agree it seems a little too preachy (and knowledge of facts and details often is important if you seriously want to affect the big picture, but that's beside the point...)
And there are a few small spelling issues, particularly missing or misused apostrophes... (I've corrected them in red)

and no one's found...

there's not enough

destroying its environment,
That's more important.


Though, I liked the pattern you've used in this poem, and how you ended it.




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 17
Im sorry that i dont know the details... maybe it comes across in the poem that i am ACTUALLY really bad at science...
Superman can fly, Spiderman has web powers, but only Batman has his own lighthouse.

*They called her that and they called it again. The day was done.*




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
*applause* That was very good, I really enjoyed reading it. Maybe a tad bit repetitive towards the end, but all in all an exellent poem.
If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. ~Lord Byron

Captain Jack is back May 25!



'They are afraid of nothing,' I grumbled, watching their approach through the window. 'Together, they would brave Satan and all his legions.'
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights