Haiku's

I did this for Homework but i guess ill post them here too lol ^^

Fire


Searing inferno
The light of the sun within
Renewing the land.




Water


Caressing and calm,
The violence and the mercy
Divine and deadly.




Earth


The roots of living,
The lakes of tranquillity
Natures creation.



Air


Howling and biting
Screeches like a banshee
Still as the moon.




(btw i did them in Yr 7 so go easy on me)

I've just started writing haikus so I am not an expert in it.I'll try to give my opinions on this.

I like the haiku on water.

Searing inferno
The light of the sun within
Renewing the land.

Isn't the first line suppose to have 5 syllables.I think its having six.Se-ar-ing-in-fer-no.

I may be wrong.Tell me on this and then I can actually give my views properly.

I deleted the other thread.

The first line is okay because it is:

Sear-ing in-fer-no.

I'm more interested in the things afterwards.

Fire

Searing inferno
The light of the sun within
Renewing the land.

The first line is directly connected with fire. The second line is weird: the light within what? It makes it sound like you're referring to a person. The last line seems to be completely out of sync with fire. Molten lava might be different, but the two aren't the same.

The same thing happens with the rest of the Haikus. Technically, they fit, but they don't remind me of the elements they are supposed to represent.

You have a large vocabulary for a seven year old.

I think that 7 year old bit is a bit harsh...

Why harsh? Do you mean unbelievable?

(Sorry Arclight, but if we don't believe that you wrote it when you were seven and you did, then we just paid you a great compliment by saying that you wrote a poem SO GOOD we didn't believe you were seven when you wrote it. )

No by Year seven he means--- Grade 7,

I go to school with Arclight lol

Ahhhh, that IS a bit more believable.

(Sorry! Homeschooler over here! We don't really go by grades. )

^^ Ok hehe i thought it might have been mixed terms between UK and America or something.

You have a large vocabulary for a seven year old.

Griff thats his posts number,he is 13yrs old.

So I am saying that You(Arclight) have a large vocabulary for a 13 yr old.

Im not a Haiku fan as it is and these just reiterate my dislike. They dont really make sense and are rather vague in the sense that some lines are just a little random like Griffin has pointed out.

No offence to the purple balloon but I disagree. It's not everyone who can write a good haiku,and you managed to pull it off well! The air one actually sent a chill down my back!

x frm lucy

Haikus aren't normally my favorite genre of poetry either. I think they're difficult to write well because the strict length and syllable pattern is so constricting. However, these were pretty well-written, especially considering you were in 7th grade. They go together well, and you managed to give them imagery and meaning despite being confined to very few words. They didn't blow me away or anything, and several of the phrases sounded pretty cliche, but they were an enjoyable read. The one entitled "Water" was my favorite.

Keep writing!