My General Guidelines
1. Let others be right, it consoles them for being nothing else.
2. The tedious regularity of life isn't completely worthless.
3. A useful phrase in many situations: "I'm sorry, the sun was in my eyes."
4. Laugh at everyone's jokes.
5. Be everyone's confidante.
6. Thank god you are not a fatty water buffalo wallowing stupidly in some murky pool with mud/slime all over your face/body.
7. Just don't sever a limb.
8. It's everyone's fault but mine.
9. It is only through restraint that one can manage not to suppress oneself.
10. People, you can't live with them, and you can't:
a) Dip them in batter for tempura
b) Use them as collateral on a loan
c) Put in new batteries
d) Fit more than two in a trunk
11. Don't be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or sexual orientation; there are so many REAL reasons to hate others.
12. There are 10,000 ways to mutilate yourself in any normal day. So, don't go messing around with tools.
13. When in Rome:
a) Shoot Roman candles
b) Sleep with some cute Italian
c) Visit the Parthenon
14. Whenever someone wants to "dialogue" with you, never trust that person again.
15. The roof-tile may know many things which the chimney does not.
16. I thought I told you to stay in the car.
