Help Those

3 posts
Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 31
Help those who are below us
Who's future is unsure,
Help those who plead for Justice
Go knocking on there door.

Help those who suffer violence
Homelessness and sin,
help those who don't believe
In strength that's hidden in.

Help those who have addiction
Don't know whats wrong from right,
Help those who cannot care less
And those out there to fight.

Help those who've lost their dignity
Through poverty ad dispair,
Help those who work from dusk to dawn
But we, who do not dare.

Help those who feel obliged
To take somebody's life,
Help those who's minds are evil
And put us through this strife.

Help all who want a good life
To get what they deserve,
To find their inner beauty
And to search in what they're served.
There’s nothing to do, There’s nothing to see
There’s no where to go, There’s no where to be
I’m just sitting alone, In this empty room
Writing my poem, I’m over the moon




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1175
Reviews 185
I like it. It speaks of something true, from the heart.
I will always fight back, no matter what.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1050
Reviews 182
I like your concept and your rhyming scheme although at some point it did not seem to rhyme f.e.

Help those who are below us
Who's future is unsure,
Help those who plead for Justice
Go knocking on there door.


Unsure and door don't quite rhyme :?

Help all who want a good life
To get what they deserve,
To find their inner beauty
And to search in what they're served.


Neither do deserve and served

Other than that, well you keep repeating "Help those" which gets a bit annoying here's a suggestion

Help those who are below us
Who's future is unsure,
[s]Help[/s] those who plead for Justice
Go knocking on there door.

Help those who suffer violence
Homelessness and sin,
[s]help[/s] those who don't believe
In strength that's hidden in.

Help those who have addiction
Don't know whats wrong from right,
[s]Help[/s] those who cannot care less
And those out there to fight.

Help those who've lost their dignity
Through poverty ad dispair,
[s]Help[/s] those who work from dusk to dawn
But we, who do not dare.

Help those who feel obliged
To take somebody's life,
[s]Help[/s] those who's minds are evil
And put us through this strife.

Help all who want a good life
To get what they deserve,
To find their inner beauty
And to search in what they're served.


There, those "help's" ar lessened now
As for the line I made bold, it doesn't qutie sound right, maybe

"those who don't recall,
their strength that's hidden in"

Cheerios, Chandni
I should not keep on, I'll just creep on creepin'on.



It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
— Neil Armstrong