Time went slowly by

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Time went slowly by in school,
i sat down and did my work,
i couldn't concentrate and got told off by my teacher,
that day time went slowly by in school,

Time went slowly by at work,
i sat down and did my research,
i couldn't concentrate and got told off by my boss,
that day time went slowly by at work,

Time went slowly by on my fist day of retirement,
i sat down and read my book,
i couldn't concentrate because I'm old,
that day time went slowly by on my fist day of retirement,

time went slowly by in my long life,
i sat down and did everything,
i couldn't concentrate much of the time,
those years went slowly by in my life of 96 years.
i don't really care anymore if people hate me,
i'm used to it, so don't bother saying anything to me, because you know that i really don't care!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 33
this came into my head whilst i was listning to shayne ward (random huh?)
i don't really care anymore if people hate me,
i'm used to it, so don't bother saying anything to me, because you know that i really don't care!




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 90
It's a bit confusing to know what is going on, but apart from that it's ok. Some of the grammar is a bit strange, but you can sort that out easily. Also, some of the lines didn't quite flow together, so some rhythm exercises could be in order.

RR*
Want a faithful critique? PM me!

Luv RR*



I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
— Charles Perrault