Hell on Earth

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School is hell on earth

Teachers are winged monsters
they talk my head into the ground
badger me with constant questions

Other children, firery demons
Black and pink dragon with pointed nails
and handbags like bombs

Classrooms are torture chambers
small rooms of pain and fear
Bolted windows, chanin bound doors.

Lunch and break are prisons too
I am imprisoned in loneliness
Locked up in my own emotions

Hometime is the only escape
a refuge for the night
The heaven from hell.

But come daybreak
my torture starts again...
Last edited by Swottielottie on Wed Apr 04, 2007 9:51 am, edited 1 time in total.




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In very brief:

You've got a subject that's apt. School as a prison, peers and such--but you're telling more as if it were prose than describing.

School is hell on earth


'Hell on Earth' -- well yes, but what does hell on earth look like?

It would be both amusing and morbid to hear what these 'demons' look like, how they're demonic. Why are they called demons? They're annoying. Rather an anticlimax.

I'd advise you to go over it and tear it to pieces. Find a rhythm for your words and a picture and feeling for them--so that the readers can see it as well as you can. ^_^


IMP
ex umbris et imaginibus in veritatem

"There is adventure in simply being among those we love, and among the things we love -- and beauty, too."
-Lloyd Alexander




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thanks is the new one any better?
Last edited by Swottielottie on Wed Apr 04, 2007 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Do u really hate school?

The poem was good.
keep writing and posting.
"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh.




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No
I love school but I hate some of the pupil
if you get my drift
thanks for the comments
though
Charlotte




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i really like your poems charlotte but they lack poteniol yours happily master Reynolds
It's priest have a little priest



Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
— George Santayana