Untitled

Just a very short solo renga I wrote on a long car ride. Not a "real" renga, and not the best poem in its own right, but I like it anyway. C + C appreciated.

***

husky whistle of the AC
under stone roads worse for wear
eyes trial

wistful rainbow
howls to the blue

shuffling leaves
spiral behind the curtain
of futures told

broken paths
hidden in the rubble

warlord wall
burnt to blackness
shields the pinned

avatar of lies
poker face wide

mockingbirds dead
of tiny telling tales
hurdling flames

one lonely rose
for all of the night

hollow faces
sink away
without eyes

Cool poem
but I didn't understand what you were trying to say
that might have been because i wasn't reading properly or the fact that my eyes wre closed (joke!)
Charlotte

I'm not trying to say anything, really. It's a renga; the whole point is to connect several little slices of life, with the focus on the connections. I'm glad you liked it, though.

oh! so that's what a renga is!
sorry i don't know very much about that kind of thing
I'm only in year 8 so I don't know that many kinds of poems
That doesn't mean I'm dumb though (does it?)

Ahoy BirthdayPirate,


Stick to pillaging ships until you can coherently piece together your thoughts.


Best,
Brad

Hey BirthdayPirate,

Wow renga is cool,and ur poem is cool too.

Keep writing.

-Ani

Incandescence wrote:Ahoy BirthdayPirate,


Stick to pillaging ships until you can coherently piece together your thoughts.


Best,
Brad

Dude, go read a renga. Perhaps this one. It's far superior to mine, of course, but it should give you a general idea of the genre. Keep in mind that it was originally a sort of game with many poets working together; the object was to creatively link the previous verse to your own, not to form some sort of narrative. In fact, the verses were so free-standing that the first one broke off and became the haiku, while some of the middle ones eventually evolved into senryu. Fun fact.

ANI wrote:Hey BirthdayPirate,

Wow renga is cool,and ur poem is cool too.

Keep writing.

-Ani

Thanks; I'm glad you liked it. If you like renga, you can find some more here.