A Beginning....one of many

Drip. Drip. Drop-drip.

She had never thought of water torture as actually effective, but this was starting to drive her nuts.

Drip.

The bars of the cell were clammy to the touch, cold metal that stretched from rock floor to rock ceiling.

Drip-drop drop. Drip.

She could hear the faint sounds of the guard's heels down the long corridor, a brisk clack-clack that added to the endless monotony of sounds.

Drip. Drip. Clack-clack-clack.

A slight breeze made the torches on the wall opposite her cell sputter.

Drip. Clack-clack.

Red eyes abruptly glinted out from a dark corner of the hall.
"Took you long enough."
A dragon the size of a small dog slid away from the shadows and crawled into her cell, his dark scales glinting in the faint circle of torchlight. She took the keys from his teeth, avoiding their sharp points. "Why are you in this form?", she asked, putting the key into the lock.
The dragon grumbled.
"Fine, then. Let's just get out of here."

Well, it's pretty short, to say the least. However, it is an interesting beginning. I can see the pace picking up swiftly for the escape.

All right, I may have misheard when I first heard about this, but doesn't chinese water torture involve the water dripping on the victims forehead? Again, I may have misheard and really don't want to go searching for the facts right now. But, if you checked it ahead of time and that's what it says, it works for me.

And, since you specify Chinese water torture, I'm going to assume this story takes place on earth. If not, consider describing the torture in a different way.

Okay, it seems to me that if a dog size dragon could fit through the bars, she could too. At least that's my visualization. Maybe just have the dragon put his snout through the bars and she grabs the keys.

"This form"? How many form does this dragon posses, and what are they? I'm curious. Good use of an off hand remark to give a lot of information in a very small space. Well done.

With how short this piece is, I'm curious as to where your going with this. Heck, I just realized I don't have any names yet and that didn't bother me at all while reading. Nice job again. Anyway, I'm curious as to where you're going with this.

Hmm... interesting beginning.

First you have some formating issues; it should read like this--

Drip. Drip. Drop-drip.

She had never thought of Chinese water torture as actually effective, but this was starting to drive her nuts.

Drip.

Because a. it's easier to read, and b. the sound should be in italics, or at least it's nicer, and easier to discern.


You start off by saying Chinese water torture. But let's assume that I have no idea what that is, that I am from some other planet, and I am reading this- the reference would go straight over my head. Describe it the Chinese water torture for me. Describe the the five senses of it, and then describe how the character feels more than just - it was starting to drive her nuts. Her anxiety, her annoyance, her anger, her helplessness...

The dragon - assume I don't know what a dog is, and describe the creature in detail. I want to know what this dragon looks like, what color he is, does he have a spiked tail?

But besides that - more?
CL.

The italics thing was a good point, and so was the paragraphing, so I changed it. There's not a lot of details because this was the extent of the thought. I had no more inspiration. After this my brain just went kaput and I didn't do anything with it.
Like I said in the topic, I do this a lot. I get maybe a paragraph and a half of a story and then I'm bored with it. Thanks for your guys' input!

Describe the the five senses of it, and then describe how the character feels more than just - it was starting to drive her nuts. Her anxiety, her annoyance, her anger, her helplessness...

You don't have to do this, a simple gesture of annoyance is enough. We don't like waiting and neither does the character. Anything further than that is showing too much, IMHO.

Its an interesting beginning and if you did add a little description it wouldn't be too bad - they create images to make stories clearer.

I do the same thing (write beginnings but no ends) all the time. I get bored with it. I thought this was a good beginning, but could be a little more descriptive. I'm new at this though so I don't really know what to say.
Keep writing! I like how you gave the character a don't-really-care attitude. She doesn't sound worried about being tortured at all. Sounds great!

I really enjoyed it! Leaves you on edge and wanting more from the story. Like why is she in the prison, where is the prison? What's this thing taking multiple forms? You should definitely go farther with this story. It could go very well.

Man, I don't know how you could get bored with an idea that quickly. Heck this is better than most beginnings I've written, and you do this all the time? You know what, you really should flesh out this story. At least go significantly further before you set it aside. You gotta make yourself interested. Get in there, flesh out the woman and her dragon. Who is she? What is her relation to the dragon? Friend, pet, companion, ally, bound together by some random incident or from purpose? What kind of world do they live in? Is their relashionship unusual? Is it common? What other forms can the dragon take? Why is she being tortured? Jeez, you could make this a classic.

I swear, if you don't continue with this, I will, if only for my own personal enjoyment. How you get bored after this, I can only vaugly comprehend. Man, I wish I could write openings like that. Just, come on! Creating a world and characters is the best part, at least in my opinion. And remember, nothing's final until its published. You can always change the story if you feel its going nowhere or getting flat.

So come on, keep this story going, at least a little while longer. Make it up as you go if you have to. You could come up with some pretty interesting stuff that way, as well as a good story as long as you keep everything consistent. So, please, try to take this a little further before filing it away as "just another opener". You may find it to be something special.

You really like it that much, RS? Then take it. Seriously. I spit these things out all the time and then I just can't write any more. My brain is bored with it. Kaput on creativity. Thanks for the compliments! I love 'em!