Ten tries to poet (Version II)

7 posts
User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 30338
Reviews 560
Ten tries to poet (Version II)


Poeting to follow...

#1 Newspapers
#2 Summer
#3 Blankets
#4 The Quiet
Last edited by Tenyo on Sat Apr 22, 2017 11:11 pm, edited 6 times in total.
We were born to be amazing.




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 30338
Reviews 560
#1

Sweetheart don't listen to the lies they tell you
the newspapers print in black and white;
You were born in colour.

Their words are g l a s s,
Refracting light,
But the pretty patterns are only sun.

You are soil and grass and stone,
The earth itself
Carries the weight of your bones.
We were born to be amazing.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 723
Reviews 63
The text is BeAuTiFuL-- I love lines two and three <3




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 30338
Reviews 560
#2
Haiku!


She strokes my thigh, her fingers
Flowing, the way that water flows
Underneath the bridge.

Moss grows over us,
The sunlight beckons us home,
From the dark dew fields.

She touches my chest, her fingers
Warming, like the midday heat
Melting into me.

I close my eyes, feel
Her eyes on me, the cold blue
Ever Unbreaking.
We were born to be amazing.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 46306
Reviews 373
I like the way you use a series of haikus to write a longer poem. And the colors add more emphasis to the important words!
always daydreaming, always clumsy




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 30338
Reviews 560
#3
Blankets

Shapes of you escape, unafraid,
drifting in bubbles through the air,
while snowflakes
kiss your neck
and nestle into your pillow.


Spoiler

Original;
Shapes of you escape, unafraid,
drifting in bubbles through the air,
while death rolls in on snowflakes
that kiss your neck
and nestle into your pillow.
Last edited by Tenyo on Sat Apr 22, 2017 11:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.
We were born to be amazing.




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 30338
Reviews 560
#4
The Quiet

Sometimes the wounds just
Kind of rip open
Unexpectedly.
The blood pours out and I remember you.
The smells come rushing back in my head, dizzy and weak;
Your name is like a sickness, lying dormant in my bones.
We were born to be amazing.



And don't forget it's hydrate or diedrate
— zaminami