"On being a Vulcan", or, "A Lyrical Treatise

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Phoenixfire
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Thu Sep 14, 2006 4:03 am
Phoenixfire says... · Thu Sep 14, 2006 4:03 am
Killing emotion
That human condition
Dragging our consciousness into the dust
While logic and reason
The clearminded decision
Are cast by the wayside to molder and rust
"....I hold with those who favor fire", Frost
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Fireweed
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Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:52 am
Fireweed says... · Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:52 am
Surprisingly deep for a poem inspired by a t.v. show... :)

I like this alot. It's short yet very effective, it flows well and the rhyme is brilliant. You could expand on it, but not if it feels complete to you... If you try to expand on a poem simply to make it longer, it usually sound forced...

Kudos on this, welcome to YWS!!
"I myself am composed entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."- Augusten Burroughs
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gyrfalcon
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Mon Sep 18, 2006 12:39 am
gyrfalcon says... · Mon Sep 18, 2006 12:39 am
ooooooo, very nice!
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis
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I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon