marbles

I think this is one of the best poems I've read of yours, Brad. (No wonder that you won best poet on the site! ) There's just one minor mistake I saw:

"like dreams where you love hard and in the morning

I think this would be a lot more powerful if you started a separate line with "and." Perhaps it could be:
"like dreams where you love hard,
and in the morning..."

This had stunning imagery and I heartily congratulate you on an excellent poem. Fantastic job!

This poem is beautifully written, Brad. The word choice is exquisite. I particularly like the mirror between "orchard yard" and "apple-sweet kisses."

Some of the line breaks didn't feel quite clean to me, like the one writingluver mentioned. My only suggestion is to go back thro' and try different line breaks and see what you prefer.

I agree with WL. It was a nice piece, Incan.

The third stanza was my favorite.

That was something for sure. I especially enjoyed the dialogue between the two "characters" in the poem.

in uneven ways"--lightning struck ahead--

"lightening struck ahead" is too many syllables to have any effect.

You hide a lot in you images, and I hope you realize this and it isn't an accident. There is never too far to delve with your poetry.

Yes. This is what I like. A lot better than 'For Maggie'. Word choice is great.

Incandescence wrote:We flip through the days
like old magazines: the mornings
brush languidly into the stifling stillness
of summer nights.

Not sure what the colon is there for, but I'm guessing you're describing one of the things you would talk about. If I was you, I would replace it with a period, or maybe a semicolon. Or, would leave the colon and write: "how the mornings brushed languidly into the stifling stillness of summer nights."

Incandescence wrote:"like dreams where you love hard and in the morning
it dissipates into the atmosphere,
but you know it's there, and you just
have to let it go..."

One of my favorite parts, but the "like dreams..." line is pretty confusing. It would be much more powerful if it was divided like this:

"like dreams where you love hard
and in the morning it dissipates into the atmosphere
and you know it's there,
and you just have to let it go..."

The ending of the whole poem though...is so abrupt. It just leaves us hanging. I dont know, it just...doesn't satisfy.