Some of my poems from this month and last... help needed to

August 3rd

Things never stay the same

Break my psychadelic waves of nausea,
bringing me back to the surface,
spluttering and coughing up
so many multi-coloured dreams.

Beneath your bed are love letters;
each written in differnet ink,
proof that things
never stay the same.

Ice-cold comfort is our friend
through the darkest hours of need
while in my head I'm dancing
my imagined fears away.

Do what I do and forget
(if you decide it isn't happening, it won't).
Don't keep arguing, I won't hang around
becasue things never stay the same.

..............................................................

July 23rd 2006

Street merchents

Sometime after midnight,
sreet merchents who mourn the dead
bring gold coffins
and earl grey tea
to focus their pain
and avoid tearing holes
in our lives.

Throwing out their memories
(the good as well as bad),
in cheap, standard issue
binbags without handles.
Biting tongues
to stop the tears
that no-one
dares to shed.

Memories, no-one can bear
despite austere awareness.
Good to remind
of what once was
and what can never be.
So they drink earl grey tea
sometimes after midnight.

.............................................

July 18th 2006

He who dares wins

He who dares wins
sixteen ounces
of sugar-coated sins,
the only evidence
is a betrayal
of light through the curtain.

Twisting and turning,
like it's nothing new,
while I'm still learning,
forever sighing, hoping life
won't betray you
with it's honey-sweet lies.

An entire world to discover;
so full of fakery
that I can't seem to uncover
until it's too late.
This place keeps on lying
and just won't let me be.

Hand over heart,
I've tried to forget
both the end and the start.
For each time life ends badly
and despite mind over matter,
he who dares wins.

So yeah, I could really do with some help!

Break my psychadelic waves of nausea,

so many multi-coloured dreams.

Normally I wouldn't put 'psychadelic' and 'nausea' in the same sentence, but it really works when you connect it with 'multi-colored.' Ice cold comfort is a nice description, too...you spelled because wrong in the last sentence.

ooer...I didn't get the next poem. And the third seemed a bit on the syruppy side...

Hmm... there are some spelling mistakes noticeably in the second poem. I'll print this out and see if I can help.

Thanks! My spelling is pretty awful, not helped by the fact that I type so fast... and I don't really like these anyway. My big bad is the rhymth I think... Thanks people!

Break my psychadelic waves of nausea,
bringing me back to the surface,
spluttering and coughing up
so many multi-coloured dreams.

This comes off as something one would write on a high or about a high - it seems somewhat unessary to me, but it's a lovely part so if it does have a reason to you, then leave it there. In any case, it's a needed space between the opener and the next stanza.

proof that things
never stay the same.

I think you should rephrase it. It's too close to the opener, it sounds redundant to me.

becasue things never stay the same.

because

Don't keep arguing

This is passive and awkward. Say "stop arguing"

that no-one
dares to shed.
Memories, no-one

replace a no-one.

and avoid tearing holes
in our lives.

Pretty, but how does their actions achieve this. Things don't line up.

So they drink earl grey tea
sometimes after midnight.

Completely unneeded, and I think the ending would be better without those two lines.

He who dares wins
sixteen ounces
of sugar-coated sins,
the only evidence
is a betrayal
of light through the curtain.

The subject of this sentance was "he". What ever happend to him?

Twisting and turning,
like it's nothing new,
while I'm still learning,
forever sighing, hoping life
won't betray you
with it's honey-sweet lies.

Who is "you"? What happened to "he"?

You tied it up in the ending, but there are some loose ends and all in all you needed to be less vague and avoid forcing rhymes. You have a good selection of poetry here, so I think with a bit of refinement you can improve it oustandingly.