The Ballad of Pedro, the Mexican Breakdancer

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I really don't know what to say. This is... incredibly politically incorrect.

I liked the political incorrectness. But to me, it didn't seem so much of a balad, as a story told in poem form. Balads are usually long, and have a great story, and there are certain aspects that are recognizeably "balad" but I don't know how to explain them. It also seems like you spent to much focus on the rhyme and not enough on the story, but thats just my oppinion.

As a poem, though, it did have good qualities, and I liked the visuals. Good job, just work on it a little more.

i liked it had a nice flow to it i liked this bit

With a Twist-o-flex he’d break it down
His legs of jelly were town renown
He’d do the worm while doing Russians
And was known to get concussions

very nice :thumb:

sabradan wrote:I liked the political incorrectness. But to me, it didn't seem so much of a balad, as a story told in poem form. Balads are usually long, and have a great story, and there are certain aspects that are recognizeably "balad" but I don't know how to explain them. It also seems like you spent to much focus on the rhyme and not enough on the story, but thats just my oppinion.

As a poem, though, it did have good qualities, and I liked the visuals. Good job, just work on it a little more.

Will do. i just didn't know if as a song it was getting too long.

This is kinda funny

This made me laugh, it was so... random but hilarious I guess. Nice work, even if it is very politically incorrect. But whoever said being politically correct was any fun?

Ballads can never be too long. and I don't know the difference between a balad and a story in poetry form. if it was longer it'd would be a balad.

I was quite amused. Probably 'cause my brother makes lots of... non politically correct jokes... and he amuses me always! I think you should make it longer. but love what you have.

Politically incorrect jokes are the best.

That was highly amusing, and the rhymes actually made sense. It wasn't just like, "The man was out of luck/ Then he ate a duck."