"Remembered"

"Remembered"

When darkness falls
and cities crumble

When dust layers shroud
and mountains rumble

I'll remember

When oceans overcome
and empires shatter

When a lost one calls
and feels they don't matter

I'll remember

When my heart breaks for you
and your crafted demise

When all the world
inevitably dies

I'll remember

When the world is succumbed by night
and all that's left is despair

When only a voice in your heart
tells you of what was once there

I'll remember

I'll remember the majesty and power
the endless teeming dreams

all the sweeping fields of amber
and all that life can ream

I'll remember all the dashing lakes
and miracle skies

All the boundless stakes
set impossibly high

On the magic here.
All the world now shakes in a tremor

And as it all falls to pieces
You know

I'll remember

I liked this; it flowed well and had good rhyme & repetition, and a serene, soothing feel. This is minor, but in the fifth stanza I think "lost soul" would sound better than "lost one."
Nice work.

Nice. Very powerful. Sorry I have nothing to critique, just keep up the good work Liz.

-MH

p.s. You might wanna look at some other people's work before you post your own.

I liked this a lot. You pulled the rhyming off really well, something not everyone can do. As others have said, it had a calm yet majestic feel. I really enjoyed it. Great work.