cheesy writing

Hello everyone.
I'm writing a fantasy novel and I need some help.
Whenever I write one paragraph I go back and read what I've just written, and everytime I feel like it's extremely cheesy... What do I do to prevent this???
I know it's a stupid question but any help you can give will be highly appreciated...

Hi Afternight!

One of the difficulties with writing fantasy is trying to make something seem original. I should know. I've tried and failed...

Is your difficulty with the actual writing style, or is it with the story itself? If you think your story is cliched and unoriginal, try taking a step back from it and see what you can do to make it different.

If, however, it's just your writing style, it probably doesn't matter too much for a first draft. Get that story down on paper and worry about the delivery later!

@steampowered
My problem is not really with the story, I'm actually quite satisfied with the plot that I have in my mind.
My problem is as you said with the writing style and the words I've used, and not being a native English speaker makes things twice as bad...

Can you give us an example of this cheesy writing? Without actually seeing the writing, I can't really help you-- because I don't know how your writing is cheesy. Is it the characters? Is it the plot? Is it the setting? Dialogue?

How long have you been working on the same project? Have you always had this problem where you thought none of your writing came out the way you wanted it?

@LadySpark
One of the spirits had caught up them and tackled Kairaz to the ground, but before it could make a move an arrow flew straight into spirits heart, if it had any. Neema had acted quickly in saving the young warrior but it was the best she could accomplish.


This is one of the parts where I think it's just ridiculous

@Holysocks
I've been working on this for a couple of months but I've had this problem with almost every thing I've written.
For some reason it sounds right in my head but when I read it out load it feels like an 8 year old wrote it.

Okay, I'm gonna try to do the best I can with this--but I have no idea what your plot is, so I'm not going to be much help.

One of the spirits had caught up them and tackled Kairaz to the ground, but before it could make a move an arrow flew straight into spirits heart, if it had any. Neema had acted quickly in saving the young warrior but it was the best she could accomplish.

This doesn't seem cheesy to me. Yes, the grammar's a little skewed, but as for the overall tone of this paragraph, it's not cheesy. To me, cheesy is flashing lights and neon signs. It's pick up lines and kissing in the rain. It's over the top, grand things. This, while it could be worded better-- isn't cheesy. The only part that really made me stop and think 'now that just doesn't sound right' is the bolded part in the quote above. I'm assuming this is in third person, not first, but once again, I have no idea. It doesn't strike me as someone's thought, so it's kind of just stuck in there--the author's thoughts leaking out into the page. That's the part I don't like. It disrupts the story and is just generally not needed.
I would go farther with your paragraph, but then it would turn into a review instead of a discussion about if your writing is cheesy or not-- so I won't.

All in all, it doesn't seem cheesy to me, or ridiculous. If it fits the theme, plot and story, it's perfectly fine. Shooting a spirit's heart isn't ridiculous, and someone being a good enough aim when they're a warrior (which I'm assuming they are), isn't surprising or ridiculous either.

Hm, I had the same problem with a novel that I had been working on for quite a few years... so I thought it could be something like that, but I'm not sure.

It might benefit you to try writing something else for a bit- do a couple short stories in a completely different genre, write a poem or lyrics... anything to mix things up a bit, and get you to a point where you feel fairly comfortable with how you're writing. I'm just guessing though.

A certain amount of thinking your writing is cheesy, is normal, I think. I would say that it seems it's more you judging your writing, rather then it actually being that your writing is cheesy. If that makes sense. Try to ignore your inner critic to a certain degree.

@LadySpark
Thanks... This helped a ton

@Holysocks
I understand what you're saying but I really don't think I can leave this story before seeing it through... According to my friends I have an obsession with closure :-S
But I think you're right about the whole, inner critic.
Thanks

Reading this thread, I think your problem is best summed up in this video:

Ira Glass: there is a gap.

You know this isn't that good. You're reading it and you're wondering what's missing, why you can't produce what you want in your head on paper.

You have a gap between what you want to see and what you're actually producing.

So every single time you finish something (finishing is extremely important, so do keep that obsession with closure!), do this:

1- Let it sit a little. Write something else in the mean time. Get another piece out.
2- Go back and read the thing you finished. Identify what doesn't work for you, what you want to improve. You can also post it up here to have reviewers identify what doesn't work for them, but you will improve faster if you do both.
3- Figure out how you could improve that thing. This could involve going off on the internet to sift through writing advice, asking your reviewers extra questions, or just deciding "what if I try this?"
4- Either edit the preexisting piece or write a new piece where you work specifically to improve what you feel the weakest on.
5- Repeat indefinitely.

The thing is, you have to write and produce a volume of work in order for this method to have any effect. You'll also keep producing a lot of work that doesn't meet your expectations. That's part of learning how to be a writer, or any type of artist: you won't be happy with it at first.

But if you keep writing, you'll keep closing that gap.

Keep writing, keep identifying what faults you want to work on, keep leaning how to fix those faults, and know you'll probably never completely close the gap. But you can shrink it.

Keep going.