Coronach: for RB

3 posts
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(To commemorate the suicide of an acquaintance)

he was tall
brown
quiet
and one day
as we passed in the hall
he stopped
bent
stood
and offered
the book that had
fallen from my hands
with a nod
as articulate
as any poet's rhyme.

(golden lads and girls all must
as chimney sweepers, come to dust
)

he was tall
brown
quiet
and had the most
beautiful
smile.

requiescat in pace,
friend-who-might-have-been.
Bitter Charlie :: Shady Grove, CA :: FreeRice (162,000/1,000,000)




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 94
I think I understand how you feel. This was a poem fit for the occassion. I think death by suicide of even half-known people do affect you.
The Football Freak.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 688
I think "beautiful" should be italicaized or whatever, not underlined. Your choice, naturally.

(golden lads and girls all must ,
as chimney sweepers, come to dust)

I think you should add a comma here.

I liked it, though - simple language, beautiful meaning, deep feelings.
Carpe Diem.



Just think happy thoughts and you'll fly.
— Peter Pan