The Lyttle Lytton Contest

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i just wanted to spread the word on a writing contest i've been following for a while now.

basically the challenge is to write the worst opening like to a novel you can. the catch is, it has to be written in a believably unintentional way, as though yiu were an amatuer writer making amatuer mistakes.

http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html

here's the website. just click on a year. you'll get a feel for what qualifies and what doesn't.

there's no prize to win, you simply get the recognition of winning.

but really, some of the entries made my gut ache i laughed so hard. an example:,

"Crime", declared the police captain, " is everywhere, crime, crime!"

or

The evil Intergalactic Warlord surveyed the destruction he had wrought. "Booyah!" he proclaimed. "I'm in ur base! I'm. killing all ur manz!"

check the site out, it's good for a lot of laughs. also i was thinking maybe we could have our own fun by making some up ourselves.
hor·ren·dous
adjective: shockingly dreadful; horrible
synonyms: appalling, frightful, hideous

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Too much will make you sick.




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Some threads shouldn't be allowed to die.

Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

<YWS><R1>



What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.
— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye