Lone Lee

Alright, here's my latest prose. It'll make a lot more sense if you realise that there's only one person in this, talking to themself.

Here it is:

Lone Lee

Lonely
Your world is killing me
Innocent isolation, I know
Ripping apart
Inwards out
Go easy

This path
Picked for you
Weird to the world
I’m just not wired this way

Lone Lee, why do this to yourself?
Is it clinical?
Lone Lee, forget about them
What do they mean?
It’s much more, you’re much more, Lee

I fear for your safety
And fret for your sanity
For Lee, you see…
You’ve dug your own grave, continuously growing
It’s their fault, Lee
Don’t fret
Don’t get yourself down

But their idiocy is killing me!
Sane or not, it’s not right
I can tell that

Different…
Disaster…

Ultimately leading to

Destruction

Lone Lee, you’re killing us

It was good, but you don't like rhyming and rhythm do you? In the beginning, themselves should be himself or herself depending. Other than that, it was very good.

The "Lone Lee" was a pretty ridiculous pun. I would reccomend removing that pronto.

There were some very nice sections, like "innocent isolation" and "weird to the world." But the tone of the poem is almost whiny. Try asking less questions and remove yourself from the character so we have a more objective view of the situation.

Removing myself from the character would pretty much kill the whole poem... all the inspiration would be gone.

Lee's my middle name by the way.

And no, I don't like rhyming.

I fear for your safety
And fret for your sanity

This part was really good, and was really effective in the poem. I liked this.