There is a silence that comes with being in a foreign land,
It's not peace, it's not bewilderment,
It's a mix of both compounded in complexity in the initial stages,
But then it changes!
In a flash, in a second, you feel different, you feel changed -
Is my environment changing me? Or is it the shaky elements within?
I am lost and broken, shaken and repressed from all angles! -
And I don't know who I am anymore - Which makes me wonder if I ever truly did
Because if I did, My inner man suspects that, that me would never have gone down without a fight
But here I am, changed - to what extent I don't know
Good or bad? I stand confounded
But my conscience screams bad
My words are stagnant and my mind is jumbled
I speak what I do not intend to and worse yet, I do what I shouldn't do
In the recesses of my mind, heart and soul, I cry for help!
Where is my God?, and where is my Savior?!
But even in my distress I still hear that still small voice telling me,
"He's right here!"
I know this is true because He tells me that He will never leave me nor forsake me!
......................
But there is a silence within
It comes from being in a foreign land,
It cripples you numb, and leaves you incapacitated!
And in that moment...
all you can hear is-
the chaos within
that won't,
scream
shut.
