Broken.

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k3pt
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:26 am
k3pt says... · Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:26 am
xxx
Last edited by k3pt on Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Misty
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:33 am
Misty says... · Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:33 am
Ergh, I really didn't like this at all. The last bit in parentheses (can you hear me my dear) and after was good. but the rhyming was too much. You would be better off trying to convey your emotions through freewrite. :P Good luck.
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xanthan gum
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Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:24 pm
xanthan gum says... · Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:24 pm
stop trying to rhyme, because when you rhyme you usually should have a more steady rhythm...which isn't upheld in this poem.
Carpe Diem.
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