Else

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[pre]My core fled
and escaped to her hand,
and the mere thought
of her beauty
chills me with its reality;
I fear my iniquity,
my avid seed.

If to be encloaked in
limbs of her is
a dream, then I shall
live by wisps and
speak in coughs.

Residing in my
deceit is a space of
lore and lock, where my
truth slumbers and
encumbers my instinct
with its wise moans.

My mind is agape with
confusion at the splendor of

Else.[/pre]
Last edited by timjim77 on Thu Jun 05, 2008 6:07 am, edited 2 times in total.




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I don't have any constructive imput to say other than I enjoyed this. The first four lines sets everything up exellently, and is possibly my favorite bit.
Beware of the scary banana fingers! For they are mushy, and yellow.

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This had a beautiful, wispy feeling to it until right here:

With its wise snore.

Snore? It's so "un-airy". And how do you have a wise snore, anyway?

Otherwise, beautiful and ethereal.
Carpe Diem.



People ask if I ever experience writer's block and I just have to laugh... that's my default position.
— Aaron Sorkin