Struggling With Story Starting

I am currently trying to write a story about a wolf called Raven and a girl called Katherine. The pair met in the forest and they realise they can communicate with eachother. I have many good plot ideas, like, I know some conversations the pair have and what they are going to do, but I can't start it very well. I would like a review on my first sentence, you know, just saying whether you would read on or not.
OK, here we go:

Thunder rolled across the sky, booming it's warning of the inevitable storm.

Hey Wolf!

I think I already pointed out the "its/it's" thing on PM, so I won't do it again. Some clarification on it, though, if you're interested:

it's is only used when you mean it is.

its expresses possession, eg. I have a new alarm clock. Its sound is loud and shrill.


Other than that, your sentence is well formed and grammatically correct. I'd most likely keep reading, but you might want to be careful of the cliché "It was a dark and stormy night" kind of start. Yours is a bit like that, but with class.

I'd keep only the first part.

Thunder rolled across the sky

The second part kills any impact of the first. Booming isn't a great verb. You don't need to say "inevitable storm" because it's kind of obvious that thunder indicates a storm. It's an unnecessary addition.



Anyway, don't worry too much about each sentence until you've finished your first draft. Once you've written your story, then it's time to comb through each sentence and pick it apart. If you're not at that point, worrying about perfecting every sentence is just going to slow you right down and never allow you to finish.

Thank you, will take that advice into account.

Wolf! I havz ideas! Firstly, I'd like to say that the theme and concept of the story you plan to right is very interesting. In fact, whatever line it would start with, I'd continue reading on. That's my opinion at the least, but let me say something else about the line.

Thunder rolled across the sky, booming it's warning of the inevitable storm.

I totally agree with Firestarter, the following line disturbs the solemn fear distributed by the thunder. See, it already told the storm was inevitable, thus the readers will have more knowledge of what will happen and finally, lesser suspense.

That is very nice per se, nothing wrong much except for the hanger extension line. On other news, you might consider some more possibilities for your opening line. See, the thunder/storm thing is getting more and more common in fantasies nowadays. How about starting strangely? Like focus on something very small and zooming out further? Or maybe a line from a character, something just to give some spice.

All are just ideas though! But on the line, I 82% approve of it!

Might I suggest some reading? If you haven't already, try Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George. It's a realistic story and should help with the basics of wolf communication.