Firecracker (experimental)

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 688
it's aggresive and bears a ranting style, and i happen to like it. i've taken a while pondering over this, as the first time i read it i was far too upset in my life to understand anything. but the second time around i can concentrate. i loved the last line - it had power and fury and strength, and even came as a bit of a surprise.

there's too many rhetorical questions in the first stanza. or so i think. it looks busy.
Carpe Diem.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1726
Reviews 266
My only real comment is that "Don't love me 'cos I don't have a heart/to give you. " twigged the cliche-o-meter.

Apart from that, a decent rant poem; very good.
The Oneday Cafe
though we do not speak, we are by no means silent.




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1078
Reviews 333
It seemed a tad bit like a child talking back to his mother about how he is right and she is wrong. Not sure if you were going for that or not.



Why can't I put the entire Bee Movie in the quote generator? Would you prefer if I put in the Shrek script instead?
— CaptainJack