Ohmigod, I love Jamie's idea for that last 'Kill the User' post, genious! :O
I officially call round two of this bloody nonsense on, so, GO!
Kill The User Above You #2
18 posts in this topic.
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Aspiring forced cannibalcorpse3 to get down on her knees before the public. As she looked up at him he spat in her face. He reached into his hoodie and pulled his hand back out.
He was brandishing a handgun. As cannibalcorpse3 opened her mouth to speak Aspiring shot her in the face. -
(Even though I'm supposed to be dead)
First I crush both of Aspiring's hands beneath my boots. Then, using a box cutter, I slice open Aspiring's abdomen, revealing his intestines which I continue to grab and squeeze in between ripping his eyes out with meathooks. Next, keeping my fingers crossed that adrenaline will keep his heart pumping, I perform a lobotomy on him with a household powerdrill. No anesthetics used. If Aspiring still, somehow, refuses to die? Then I'll chain him up by his arms, and beat him to death with cactuses laced with barbed wire. -
(Luckily that only happened in a video game)
Aspiring slams cannibalcorpse3 on a rock. He then kicks her in the spine. As she doubles over in pain he pulls out a giant cartoon sledge hammer out of thin air and bashes her legs. They explode in a shower of gore. The ground around her is caked in her flesh and blood.
As she screams he swings the hammer in a wide arch. It bashes into her skull. Bits of bone and brain scatter.
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*I love this idea!*
Hawk takes a small, sharp knife and stabs Aspiring in the stomach with it; as he bends over, grasping his stomach, she goes around him and slices the back of his legs open. He falls to the ground, and Hawk proceeds to jam his hands onto the ground using splintery stakes driven through his wrists, where the nerves are. She then slices his chest open and punctures each vital organ, save the lungs and heart. She takes two hooks, stabs them into his eyeballs, and tears them out. Opening his mouth, she shoves an iron rod into it. Finally, she takes a long hook, reaches up his nostrils, and pulls his brain out like the Egyptians did in the mummification process. She feeds the brain to a nearby wolverine, who tears it to pieces.
Then she burns the entire messy site, just for good measure. -
Sooo...4 comments on the sequel to "Kill the User Above You." Doesn't really match up to the 225 we notched up in the original, I'm afraid.
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Because Skutter doesn't like it when people say something bad about a perfectly good post, he decided to prepare his hunting gun.
(Also saves this spot...) -
Disarmed stutter, bashed him in the forehead with his own gun. As stutter fell down, Aspiring stomped on stutter's throat.
As he gasped for breath Aspiring kicked him on the side. Then he pointed the gun at Stutter's legs, shooting them both. Aspiring then shot him in both shoulders. As Stutter lay bleeding out and screaming, Aspiring bent down and poked him in the eyes.
He then whispered, "Do you want to live?"
Stutter nodded through blood spewing from his mouth and tears hazing his vision.
Aspiring said, "Sorry, you must die." He pulled the trigger and a hole burst on Stutter's head. Brains caked the ground behind his head and blood pooled. -
Little did Aspiring know, that skutter11 was infact a necromancer in his life, so he could not fully die. Skutter11 tunneled out of his grave and went on the hunt, raising all of the dead he possibly could, with one thought in mind, to wreak his eternal revenge onto AspiringAuthor.
When he eventally got to Aspiring's dweling he screamed, "Charge, my hordes of death! Bring me the one who killed me in life!"
The undead broke down the door and brought Aspiring out, on his hands and knees,"Who's killing who now, Aspiring?" asked Skutter, maliciously,"Feast, my horde!" commanded skutter. Aspiring never got the chance to scream.
(There you go Aspiring! Hehe!) -
Skutter had no clue that his minions had only killed a look-alike.
Aspiring went to an elite group of military arms and told them that a terrorist named, skutter11 and his army of zombies were conspiring to replace the living with the dead.
In desperation, the elite force nuked skutter11 and his army. -
Hawk saw Aspiring up and running to the military.
"Didn't I already kill you?" she sighed.
She grabbed him, shoved a bomb down his throat, pushed him off a cliff and deployed the bomb. He burst to pieces in midair; bits and pieces of him plummeted into the sea where the sharks ate his chunks of flesh. -
Grant chuckled to himself as his minions finished strapping Ranger Hawk down to the examination table. "Well, well, another fine specimen to dissect, eh?"
He took a small knife, and sawed off Ranger's big toe on her right foot. Her screams were like music to his ears! Slowly, he slipped a small metal probe with serrated edges under her exposed flesh and wormed it farther up her foot. By now her screams were simply becoming annoying, so Grant had an underling gag her with cloth. Grant giggled merrily, flicking a switch on the handle of the probe. Any part of Ranger's foot that the probe was touching was torn to shreds as it began spinning quickly, revealing itself to be a sort of buzzsaw. Tears streamed down Ranger's face as the pain shot through her body. Grant just laughed.
Grant then took a small scalpel and made two small cut cuts at the edge of the mangled flesh, about an inch apart and facing towards her ankle. Then, using two gloved fingers, Grant gripped the little nub of flesh the cuts had created and started pulling upwards, elongating the cuts and ending up giving him a strip of bloody skin about 5 inches long. He looked up and noticied Ranger was on the edge of unconciousness.
Grant then proceeded to continue pulling the flesh up her foot, up her leg, all the way up the center of her chest, finally stopping at her chin. This left a long, inch-wide depression from which blood flowed eagerly. A minion came up and snipped off the strip of flesh at her chin and took it away. Grant took his hands, one on each side of the cut by her lower ribcage, and yanked outward. Her chest tore open in a shower of blood and other bodily fluids, coating Grant's chest and face. Gleefully he licked a drop of blood that had landed near his mouth and shuddered in ecstacy from the taste. He knew now that she was finally dead.
Taking out a large cleaver, Grant hacked away at her internal organs until all that remained was a big pool of chopped guts and a slew of blood. With the help of his servants, he tipped her body on it's side, pouring her innards into a large bowl. He then cut away the skin covering her scalp, cracked open her skull, and stuck a large blender deep into her brain. Switching it on, the pink goo flowed out of the hole in her skull into another waiting pot.
He then took the bowl of Ranger's innards and the pot filled with her brain, and cooked it up and served it to Ranger's family (they had, for some odd reason, been friends of his). They thought it was absolutely delicious, and question Grant about the secret to the taste. He simply said "I got the secret from Ranger!" Ranger's little brother also asked Grant about his belt that he was wearing - it was tanned the color of skin, about an inch wide with tattered edges. Grant simply remarked "I got that from Ranger too."
Wow, that seems pretty long in hindsight...hehehe.
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GrantBlayfur wrote:Ranger's little brother also asked Grant about his belt that he was wearing - it was tanned the color of skin, about an inch wide with tattered edges. Grant simply remarked "I got that from Ranger too."
How'd you know I have a brother? *coughcreepercough* Anyways, the belt would be darker--I'm super tan now that it's summer. ^^ -
Aspiring's digested body parts sunk to the depths of the sea after they were discarded by the sharks. His body pieces were consumed by an elusive species of sponge that cloned his DNA. Within two weeks, its squishy sponge body melded into a human, Aspiring.
On shore, Aspiring "borrowed" a nice car parked on a beach and rove until it ran out of fuel. Bored, Aspiring started running to a town. There, he kidnapped Grant and tied him to a tree. As Grant struggled to break free, Aspiring stabbed him in both eyes with some sticks. He threw his head back and laughed like a mad man as grant howled in pain.
Realiazing taht the noise was bound to attract attention, Aspiring recahed into a coat that he "borrowed" without paying for it and oulled out a .44 magnum, which he also borowed form a gun shop. Grant didn't even see what him as his brains caked the tree behind him. -
Bored of all this rubbish, dreamy set off an atomic bomb, dissolving everyone into dust. All that was left was the smell of burnt flesh in the air.
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