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a little vampire's reviewing thread

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79 Reviews

Gender: Other
Points: 3115
Reviews: 79
Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:23 am
ancientforever says...

Hey there! If you're here, you clicked. And if you clicked, you are my best friend for life. (First post currently under renovation. I'm trying to figure out a good style for this.)

So, best friend for life, here we are.

I will review anything you throw at me. Poetry, prose, and art of any kind. I love reading what others have written, and reviewing to help them improve. I'll do my best to focus on the strengths and weaknesses in your piece.

I'm also very nitpicky and pedantic. I tend to point out little details such as punctuation that interrupts the flow. If I think it's good where it is, I will leave it where it is. If I don't, I will point it out and most likely suggest a way to improve. If you wish to contest any of my suggestions or explain your piece if I don't get it quite as well as I might, feel free to message me and I'll take another look at it.

I am fluent. I will notice mistakes, and I will do my best to convey my issue with those mistakes. I try to be as clear as possible in my reviews.

I like to take my time. I read and reread and continue to read while I'm reviewing so I can make sure I consistently get the message of the piece. If it's prose, especially a long piece of prose, I could take up to two or three hours composing the review itself. It ends up being a very, very long review.

If you want me to review an inside chapter of a novel, please allow me time to read the first few pieces before I launch into an all-out review of the piece to which you linked me. I like being up to date and not only critiquing the writing style but the characterisation and such. I also love novels. Trust me.

Which leads me into my next point: Trust me. I understand that your writing is your baby, your little idea that's been formed into something alive and breathing. You're going to be afraid I'll murder it. That's a reasonable fear. I will murder it and bring it back to life. You'll still have it when I'm done.

WARNING: All of the above combined make for a very thorough review. I will tear you apart and re-establish you in order to make you stronger. I have great visions for every writer that I review. I know they can be the best. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I don't think I've come relatively close to killing someone yet. I hope.

I will review for free. If you would like to make a donation, that is a very nice thought, but I like reviewing for the sake of reviewing. If you would like to make a donation of your own free will, I would accept it. If you would like to review one of my pieces in return, feel free to. You are not obligated to do anything for me beyond requesting the review.

I love everyone equally. Unfortunately, this means I also tend to be harsh with everyone when it comes to reviewing. I am the stern aunt that no one wants to talk to for fear of making a mistake in their diction. Except I dissect your words, your story, and your message. (And your pictures, if those are asked for, as well.)

Do not be afraid. I don't hit very hard. My reviews are more like Bagheera's love taps than a crushing headblow. Yes, they are heavy. They are not lethal.

Feel free to contest the review, ignore it, or skip over it until you reach my overall estimation of the piece. I don't really mind, so long as I know I've done my best to look at the piece from a reviewing and analysing point of view.

This ended up long, didn't it? Well, with that said, I'm happy to oblige!
Last edited by ancientforever on Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Poetic license is my one true love.

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556 Reviews

Gender: Female
Points: 36906
Reviews: 556
Tue Oct 11, 2011 11:17 am
ziggiefred says...

Hello, thought I'd make the first request.
WARNING: I will tear your piece to shreds.

Please, go ahead :)
Thank you :)
The best is what you make it!, need a review? Click me!

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79 Reviews

Gender: Other
Points: 3115
Reviews: 79
Wed Aug 07, 2013 7:47 pm
ancientforever says...

Going to bump this up again. I have nothing to do until school starts, so feel free to request every review you can outta me. I'll do my best to hold my review up to standard.

I'll be on most of the time, most days, for the next week and a half.
Poetic license is my one true love.

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93 Reviews

Gender: Female
Points: 2037
Reviews: 93
Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:23 pm
MysteryMe says...

You posted this a long time ago, so I'm not sure if your still reviewing, but if so I would really like it if you reviewed my story 'Mother' linked here...

You just seem like the perfect person to do it, and I could really use your advice. Thank you!!!
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.