I will love you forever for a rip-to-shreds review! It needs a ton of work...
"...I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Sometimes I can stop laughing before people start edging away and talking about soothing drinks." - Lord Raould of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak
Mmmhhhmmmm.......you know I wouldn't do this to you....except that this one yeilded zero reveiws. Surprising, so I have to ask- is there something wrong in the poem or the language or is it just that I've not been reveiwing much? i wish I could do what you're doing here.......Anyways, I'll remember this:
And if it makes you feel better....I went back like a stubborn child and finally made some changes in The Fosse Grim. I didn't agree with all of it though. The chat can't severe everything, I say.
What syllable are you seeking,
Vocalissimus,
In the distances of sleep?
Speak it.
—Wallace Stevens, “To the Roaring Wind”
I would greatly appreciate it if you would review 'Forget Myself' for me. Not so much on the plot itself as I know it's not the best, but more on the style, grammar, whatever else you can find etc. Thankyou!!
'Ello! Thanks for selling me - uh - us, your soul. There is only one spelling error but that was done on purpose. Grammar I should be able to catch on my own but if you spot any annoying commas spreading like wildfire, let me know so I can fan them out. ^ ^ I'm only curious on what the reader thinks of the plot, the character's traits, especially my MC, and I was kind of wondering what were the first thoughts that went through the reader's mind when they finished.
I just hope this draft is more concise and easier the follow than the first. Any other opinions you can think of are appreciated. Thanks!
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 16