Demeter! Thank you so much for the comments on 'He Stood'. I am looking in to why everyone thinks those parts are choppy, and it's also really valuable to me that you pointed out the topic shift in the third stanza!
Would you mind letting me know what you think of this piece? It's under 'other fiction'.
It's one of my favorite poems, but it's not where I need it to be & I'd like some help . I looked at the list of things you say you focus on and I think that's exactly where I need help.
Thanks in advance.
"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment." -Pride and Prejudice
"Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader—not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon." -E.L. Doctorow
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard appears "We have weasels now!" [Firearris] 10:45 pm: askes the guard for the weasel! [Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard gives Firearris the Weasel. [Firearris] 10:46 pm: aquires the weasel and renames it "Cat" Take that, Lumi.
I want you to review my new piece of work. It's romantic fiction, but the romance hasn't started yet. Well, the story is called The Orphanage. The main plot hasn't started quite yet, either, though.. Here's a link: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic60955.html And you'll find a link to the first part of the first chapter too. Thanks.
May all your dreams come true.. (even the ones they laughed at).
Hey, Demeter, um, I wouldn't mind a review. I'm currently working on an action adventure piece, I don't know if that will interest you because it does have swearing in it, but I'd really like some more opinions especially on improvements, things like the plot, the characters, etc. Here's the link if you can review: topic60449.html Thanks, I really appreciate it DM.
Frank Costello: When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference? [The Departed]
. I looked at the list of things you say you focus on and I think that's exactly where I need help.
Gender:
Points: 2495
Reviews: 14