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Young Writers Society


12+

Memories of a dreamer's heart

by yafikwrites


"This fountain of mine flows through you."

"And so it does," he replied

Holding her hand ever so softly

         

He was wrought with a finite yet seemingly endless stream of 'memories' 

The allure of her gentle yet forward gaze

The tingle of her skin and feel of her breath at just the lightest touch

Her covert indifference to his sanity

And having to make room for the absurdity

From the barter of amorphous thoughts through the night

To the occasional delight found in the rhythmic fall of raindrops

On the verdure outside

As the warmth of their shared nakedness kept them underneath the covers

           

A week, a month, a year, now five

All started to fade away, and her face was but a blur

He found himself engulfed in a haze

And he could grudgingly hear its last beat

After its insistent pounding  

His dreamer's heart finally ceased its flailing hold over his essence

         

And through the crevice that was his partially closed window curtain

His eyes, barely open, were stung by daylight

"And so it does," he sighed

Glancing at the bedside, that was once graced by her


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Sat Apr 20, 2024 2:11 am
mayaura says...



I love this piece of work it is such a melancholic artwork that leaves you longing for more as much as the character longs for their partner. I loved the line, "He found himself engulfed in a haze And he could grudgingly hear its last beat". It reached into my heart and just shattered it. In the beginning, we are left following the story like a lost puppy and it is only when we reach a full circle in the end do we get to look back at the story we just read much more clearly. Overall beautifully tragic. <3




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Fri Apr 19, 2024 6:41 am
22Midnight wrote a review...



Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

First Impression: from the title I am guessing that we will be in a dream that someone is having that they might have wished as reality instead of it just being inside of there head.

"This fountain of mine flows through you."

"And so it does," he replied

Holding her hand ever so softly


interesting start I really like this, it builds up a sense of mystery and urge to carry on reading.

He was wrought with a finite yet seemingly endless stream of 'memories'

The allure of her gentle yet forward gaze

The tingle of her skin and feel of her breath at just the lightest touch

Her covert indifference to his sanity

And having to make room for the absurdity

From the barter of amorphous thoughts through the night

To the occasional delight found in the rhythmic fall of raindrops

On the verdure outside

As the warmth of their shared nakedness kept them underneath the covers


here i am really getting the feeling that they are in a deep sleep and are dreaming about someone that they love deeply, but at the same time there's almost a haze about it, like this feeling might not actually be real.

A week, a month, a year, now five

All started to fade away, and her face was but a blur

He found himself engulfed in a haze

And he could grudgingly hear its last beat

After its insistent pounding

His dreamer's heart finally ceased its flailing hold over his essence


it feels as though this is a dream that they are having after a long time of being in denial about a loved once death or maybe that they left, and there having a lot of trouble dealing with it and excepting it.

And through the crevice that was his partially closed window curtain

His eyes, barely open, were stung by daylight

"And so it does," he sighed

Glancing at the bedside, that was once graced by her


really heart warming last lines and it's like i'm being left with a strange emptiness in my heart now, feeling as though this persons trying to hold on to something that might not have ever been there but his imagination is craving it none the less.

Overall: It was a really well written poem and i'm so glad to have read it, I can see that you really put a lot of effort into it and i so look forward to reading anything else you've written. Welcome to YWS by the way!

anyway that's it from me

hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight

See Ya




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Thu Apr 18, 2024 11:10 am
KaavyaK says...



Nice poem written by the author.

The author has a really nice way of expressing his/her thoughts and feelings into words. Love is an emotion stronger than any power in this world and this poem verifies this fact.

Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.





Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
— Plato