Sorry if I confused you guys, it's just a short story. *AAAwwwww* Jokes.
Will do, with the adding of description, that has always been my flaw in writing.
PEACE
Olli
The blood on my chest is a perfect crimson. I can feel the masochism inside me, boiling it's way up to it's limits.
Self hurt is good. But not as good as when you take a dead person's hand and pretend they were cutting you. Then you can call the police and say you killed the person in self defence. The sweet insanity.
Pleasure swells in my stomach. My eyes almost roll back into my head.
*
"Just do it," I breathe. The gang in front of me seem puzzled, "are you going to kill me or not?"
"You think we want to kill you?" The man that talked is tall, shirtless, and ripped as hell. If I wasn't so done with life, maybe I could do him. The thought sparks into a roaring flame of resignation. They want to rape me! It's not proper sex... but still. At least I'm not going to die a virgin.
He stares at me hungrily, almost. Sweat clings stray pieces of hair to my neck. My feet are glued to the asphelt beneath me as cold wind whips around us.
The man begins to reach for my belt. With one hand he unbuckles it. My skirt falls down and some of the boys whistle. His pants go next. Then my blouse. My bra and finally my pink lacey underwear. He pulls his briefs off. As the cheering begins, vertigo captures me. I feel a foreign obeject move inside me. I resist the urge to scream.
It feels so wrong, yet so right. His body against mine. His pounding pelvic movement will leave bruises. I'm hoping he'll kill me before then. I can imagine before. Cutting myself with my dead mother's hand. I will get to see her. In hell.
The object inside me is removed and I am snapped out of my reverie. He looks at me.
"You aren't screaming, scream! Scream!" he shouts. I just lay there. Looking at him.
"Whatever you do, kill me gently."
Sorry if I confused you guys, it's just a short story. *AAAwwwww* Jokes.
Will do, with the adding of description, that has always been my flaw in writing.
PEACE
Olli
I like your story and details but i need to know if ur going into a book with it or what? the ending just doesn't go with the story... it just kinda cuts off... finish it up and i bet its good =D keep writing
I personally dislike rape writings,but ehh,it was alright. You need to be more descriptive about things. Bek mentioned some of your flaws. I know I'm not too helpful,but you're a decent writer,and will keep getting better,I enjoyed it somewhat 
Keep writing,bro
Hi! I'm Bek.
I love this bit of writing, but is it going to be a a story or a short story or just a chapter, or what?
"The man begins to reach for my belt. With one hand he unbuckles it. My skirt falls down and some of the boys whistle. His pants go next. Then my blouse. My bra and finally my pink lacey underwear. He pulls his briefs off. As the cheering begins, vertigo captures me. I feel a foreign obeject move inside me. I resist the urge to scream. "
There is absolutely NO descriptive words in this paragraph about how she's feeling. Maybe this sort of writing works for other people, but it doesn't work for me. Add some more asdjectives in there.
Instead of "self hurt" change it to self harm, because self-hurt sounds a little immature compared to the rest of the piece.
Where are these people? Where's the rape taking place? Why does the man want her to scream? For pleasure or for the joy of hurting her?
And who wears a belt with a skirt? Some girls I know where it slightly above their hips to exaggerate their skinny hips but no one wears it with a skirt. Lose the belt.
Where she says "are you going to kill me or not?": There should not be a comma there, it should be a full stop.
Hope that helps
Bek
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