z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Marcia Blythe’s dear love: Part Two

by vampricone6783


*This is part two of my story “Marcia Blythe’s dear love”. This story will be underneath my folder titled “Marcia and Rush”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Chapter One-Some things just stick

I was in Hell, standing on the scalding hot rocks, listening to the damned screams, watching the fire crackle.

The loudest screams of all were those of a pale, purple-haired woman and an equally pale, but crimson-haired man. They were being chased by a crowd of screeching demons, and I could see that the woman and man had snake like eyes, so I knew that they weren’t human either.

The demons themselves had pitchforks, like in the movies Luna Rosa forced me to watch about ghosts and devils, and the angry mob scene would come up.

A cold realization set into me. I began to cry, but I didn’t sound like myself. I sounded like a young child. Somebody else was crying with me, somebody much younger.

I was watching Rush’s parents die, from his eyes. The person crying next to me was Priscilla, Rush’s little sister.

Finally, the fire covered the sight of the demons driving his parents deep into a dark pit, and then…

I was back in the woods.

Chapter Two-Walk on

“Marcia? Are you alright? You didn’t see any of my past, did you?” Rush asked.

Elestia had forced him into my body, just when I was going to give him bits of my soul. I could hear his voice echo from the inside of my head, I could feel his hands in mine. A chill went up my spine. I couldn’t help but feel like he was wearing my skin as a suit.

“I...no. I didn’t.” I said. I didn’t want him to worry more about me more than he already did, but alas, I was a terrible liar.

“I wish you didn’t have to see that, Marcia. No should have to-“

“And yet you witnessed it as a child. Things that shouldn’t happen just happen, Rush. You never wanted me to see it, but now that you’re in my body, you’re apart of me until something happens. I saw it. Don’t apologize for what happened to you. It’s not your fault.” I said.

I was sick of Rush treating me like an object that would break at any moment. He never needed to apologize for having his parents taken away from him. He wasn’t too much. He never was.

“Thank you. But how are we going to get out of here?” Rush asked.

Oh right. We were lost in the woods.

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to just walk, would it?” I asked.

I could feel Rush’s disbelief, but I ignored him and walked on.

Chapter Three-Luna Rosa!

By some power of luck, me and Rush made it out, back to my town’s state park. I remember my town’s woods stretching for miles, but I never actually explored it until I met Rush.

I noticed my little sister, Luna Rosa, sitting on a park bench, writing on a sketchbook, no doubt one of her melodramatic poems.

I walked past, not saying a word, but then I heard:

“Marcia?! Marcia, is that you?!”

I ran as fast as I could, but I heard Luna Rosa chasing after me. I thought that I could outrun her, being older and all, but I guess sixteen year olds get tired when running too.

Luna Rosa grabbed me by the wrist and turned me around to face her, her usually gloom-filled brown eyes twinkling with joy.

“You’re alive?! Mom and Dad are looking for you! Wait…what’s with your eyes?!” Luna Rosa asked.

“My eyes? What do you mean?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I looked physically fine from my knowledge, I didn’t want her to worry about me.

“Your eyes are foggy. Are you possessed? In the shows I watch, they always say that if the person has foggy eyes, they’re possessed! Come on, I’ll take you to Felicia!” Luna Rosa said.

“Felicia?! Felicia?! Who is that? What are you talking about?! Who is Felicia?!” I asked.

But Luna Rosa grabbed my wrist and led me away.

Chapter Four-Down the path

We were walking down the main street of our town, but Luna Rosa was taking me further, to a part of town that we didn’t really go to.

The buildings got more and more abandoned, in fact, we were walking down the road of town that was more barren than the rest.

“Do you trust her? Do you trust where she’s going?!” Rush asked.

I didn’t answer him, because Luna Rosa was with me, but I think he felt the certainty in my veins.

She’d never leave me astray. That, I was certain about.

Chapter Five-Felicia’s exorcism

After much walking, Luna Rosa had taken me to a small, hole-in-the-wall building where posters of supernatural tools like ouija boards and crystal balls were tacked all around, the air smelled of incense.

“Every day after school, I go to Felicia so that she can read my palms! She says that she does exorcisms too, so maybe she can get rid of the demon inside you!” Luna Rosa said in an alarmingly cheerful tone of voice.

“You what? Does Mom and Dad know about this? How do you know for sure that she’s legit? Honestly, I-“

“Luna Rosa! How lovely it is to see you!” A woman declared.

The woman in question wore an ordinary, plain brown jacket over a white shirt, with matching brown pants, only, her pixie cut hair was dyed magenta with blue streaks and had a face covered in makeup.

“Felicia, meet Marcia! She’s my sister, and I think that she has a demon inside her!” Luna Rosa said. Goodness, I think that she was really overexcited about living a moment from one of her “paranormal shows”.

“Come, sit down.” Felicia said, gesturing to an armchair.

I tried leaving yet again, but then, everything went blurry…my head was getting lighter…lighter…I felt myself drop to the ground…and then…then…something tore away from my skin…

And then I saw it. Rush leaving my body.

Chapter Six-It worked!

“Marcia?! Marcia, are you okay?!” Rush asked. His voice sounded faraway. I tried to reply, but my lips wouldn’t move.

“Marcia?!” Rush tried again.

I took a deep breath. I got up from the ground. Rush extended a hand for me to take, I accepted it.

I looked at Luna Rosa and Felicia, who both stared at me, wide-eyed and wide-mouthed.

“You’re friends with the demon?! Marcia, how? In all of the shows I watched, you’re not supposed to befriend the demon!” Luna Rosa yelled.

I sighed. Luna Rosa’s heart was in the right place, but she didn’t know Rush like I did.

“First of all, I’m not only a demon. I’m part vampire, part demon. Second of all, I’m not going to hurt Marcia. Don’t worry.” Rush said.

Luna Rosa didn’t look too convinced, though. She crossed her arms over her chest and said:

“Says the evil hybrid incarnate from Hell.”

As much as I wanted to get away from them, I felt a tad stung that Luna Rosa didn’t trust him. He didn’t do anything wrong, and yet, she was judging him solely because of what he was. It was like she didn’t believe in my choices.

“I just can’t believe that the exorcism worked.” Felicia murmured.

“What?!” I snapped, my attention turning to Felicia.

Luna Rosa said that she was experienced. I trusted Luna Rosa, and yet I was annoyed. I mean, she  was only fourteen, she didn’t know much! Why did I care at all?

Suddenly, the ground below us vibrated, just like an Earthquake. Luna Rosa grasped onto Felicia, I grasped onto Rush.

“I’ve found you!” A girl’s voice sing-sang.

Chapter Seven-They’ve come

The ground began to open up as a dark, gaping hole, posters falling down from the sheer impact of it. From out of the hole was white smoke and pink glitter dust that one would find at the floor of a birthday party.

I swallowed hard. I had an idea of what was to come, but I didn’t want it to be true.

What crawled out of the hole was none other than a pale girl dressed in ghost white and another girl entirely covered in glitter, as though her whole personality revolved around glitter.

Elestia, Rush’s ex, and Trixie, Rush’s cousin.

“You’ve found yourself an exorcist to free yourself, huh? Well don’t worry, I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve!” Elestia, the girl in white, screeched.

“Trixie?! Why are you here?!” Rush asked, turning to the glitter girl.

“To take your eye!” Trixie exclaimed.

Goddamn it, she still wanted his eye. Why she was so obsessed with taking it, I’ll never truly know.

But from Elestia and Trixie’s hands came tendrils of black, slick oil veins that wrapped around me, Luna Rosa, and Felicia.

Chapter Eight-Apologies

“It all comes down to me and you, Rush. What do you want? Your life to save theirs, or their lives to save yours?” Elestia asked.

“Uhm…you said that I would get to take his eye. You didn’t say anything about taking his life.” Trixie said nervously.

“Well, the plans have changed! Stay or go!” Elestia cried out.

I would have found it funny to see Trixie scurry off like a stray dog, but in the circumstances of the moment, I wasn’t thinking about it that much.

The oil tendrils were clasping on me tighter…tighter…I felt the blood in my body start to diminish…

“Marcia, I’m sorry that I brought you here. You might have reason to run away and-“

“You’re apologizing? You were just looking out for me! I’m not mad at you, Luna Rosa. None of this is your fault.”

“I just-“

“Stop apologizing. Now.”

In such diresome moments, Luna Rosa thought about apologizing?! To this day, I’m still baffled. She didn’t do anything wrong. She’s my sister, and she deserves the world.

Chapter Nine-The solution

Yes, I was getting a tad sentimental for Luna Rosa, but Rush still hadn’t made a choice! I thought about how he tried so hard to protect me, to keep the supernatural stuff at bay, but failed anyway. Would he fumble then, as the oil tendrils held on mercilessly?

“Make a choice, Rush! Time is ticking!” Elestia shrieked. Her brown eyes had a glint of animal ferocity to them, but they quickly dissipated.

Rush glanced at me, tears in his mournful, emerald green eyes, and said:

“I’m sorry, Marcia. But this is the only way.”

He turned to face Elestia and then, a clap of fire escaped his hands.

I don’t know how else to describe it. There was a clap of fire. It wasn’t like they were fireworks, either. The fire that eats away at houses fell from his hands and smashed into Elestia. In an instant, everything was covered in smoke. I didn’t feel the tendrils on me anymore, but I was completely by orange flames licking up the building and the gasoline push into my lungs.

The fire came in two seconds, I think.

Chapter Ten-In death

Rush had to exert himself to kill Elestia. He had to use his full extent of power to kill her, but the cost of it ended up killing him and me.

Felicia isn’t a con, as much as she seems so. She managed to protect herself and Luna Rosa from the flames, but that was all. She couldn’t protect me and Rush. In fact, Felicia managed to hypnotize my parents to think that they’ve known Rush since I mentioned him in freshman year, and that we were dating since then.

Yes, I love him. He loves me. Now, I’m buried in the same coffin as Rush, our names inscribed on a tombstone. There are maggots and earthworms chewing away at our rotten flesh, but I don’t mind. I’ve been sick with the fever, I almost gave Rush pieces of my soul, and now, I’m dead.

He wanted to use bits of my soul to get wings, so that he could be with his sister, Priscilla. Sometimes, we both think of our sisters, and hope for the best that they’re living the lives they deserve.

I clasp my skeletal hand with Rush’s. Death isn’t scary, so long as we have each other.


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Sun Mar 17, 2024 7:43 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello, friend!
I finally made it back to check out Part Two, and I'm very excited to see how this goes!!

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Per my interpretation, this was an excellent way to continue the story and a wonderful way to bring it to an end! It was perfectly paced and an overall joy to read!

Brief Summary:

Spoiler! :
Marcia, with Rush inside of her, is trying to get out of the woods, but when she does, her sister spots her and chases her down. Upon getting to her, Luna Rosa realizes Marcia is possessed and takes her to an exorcist. The exorcist is able to get Rush out of Marcia, but this causes Elestia and Trixie to appear to finish what was started. Rush was given the ultimatum, either him or everyone else, but he takes a different route, killing Elestia but also killing himself and Marcia. It's not all bad, however, as in death, Rush and Marcia find love.

This was a really enticing plot with an absolutely perfect ending!!


If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be related to a really small spelling error that occurs when Marcia is explaining what it feels like to be possessed by Rush in chapter two. You said,

I could hear his voice echo from the inside of my head, I could feel his hands in mind.


What you wrote could possibly be right, but I feel like you probably meant to say "mine" instead of "mind," in which case the text would look more like this:

I could hear his voice echo from the inside of my head, I could feel his hands in mine.


But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


If I had to pick my favorite part, there would definitely have to be more than one! All of Part Two was truly a masterpiece, so I'm only picking out the things that really jumped out while I was reading!

The first thing that really stood out to me appeared in chapter eight, when Luna Rosa was endlessly apologizing for bringing Marcia to Felicia, but Marcia's older-sister instincts kicked in and all she could care about was her sister. You said,

In such diresome moments, Luna Rosa thought about apologizing?! To this day, I’m still baffled. She didn’t do anything wrong. She’s my sister, and she deserves the world.


This really shows how much Marcia loved Luna Rosa and how, even though they were in a tough predicament, she still held Luna above the catastrophe that had been created. You showcased this sibling relationship really well, and I loved how it ended up bringing the story together, so kudos to you for that!!

The other thing that seemed to catch my eye while I was taking in the wonderful lines of this story came in chapter ten! The ending was really beautiful and wrapped up this otherwise terribly monstrous story quite well! You said,

I clasp my skeletal hand with Rush’s. Death isn’t scary, so long as we have each other.


This was an unexpected love story, and a really great one at that! The way Rush and Marcia go from being within one another to being with each other eternally is a wonderful thematic idea! I really loved this ending, and all of the messages it conveyed, so good job for writing it the way you did!


Overall, this was a wonderful way to wrap up this outstanding two-part series! I loved the way it came to an end and how it was relatively happy, despite how sad it actually was! You did great work with this one; keep it up!!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!





Prometheus, thief of light, giver of light, bound by the gods, must have been a book.
— Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves