z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Laughing Jack’s surprise for Jason the Toymaker

by vampricone6783


*This is a non-canon ship between two Creepypastas called “Laughing Jack” and “Jason the Toymaker.” Laughing Jack was created by Snuffbomb, Jason the Toymaker was created by Krisantyl. This will be under my folder called “Creepypasta Stuff”. This references another story I made called “When Jason the Toymaker met Laughing Jack”. Jason has a middle name in this story, but he has no canon middle name. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy and Happy Valoween!*

Jason Meyer had left off to deal with his latest victim. It was just Laughing Jack in the carnival, surrounded by the ghost children and possessed wax dolls.

In all of the years that they had been together, starting from 1942 and still going strong in 2024, they had not had time for an actual marriage. The life of a Creepypasta was a busy one, always filled with searching for a victim to kill. There was no time for them to have a moment to themselves.

Well, Laughing Jack would change that.

He tore off a considerable amount of fabric from his sleeve. That was alright, he’d sew it all back together later.

From out of his pocket, he took out pieces of flesh from a victim of his. It was rotten, it had cockroaches crawling in it, but Jason liked rotten. Jason liked cockroaches.

With that, Laughing Jack got to work.

……………………………………………………

Laughing Jack watched as Jason made his way through the carnival. The sun was starting to set, and Jason was humming a tune to himself. He held a wax doll in his hand, which meant that his murder was a success.

Laughing Jack creeped along the sides of the carnival, making sure that Jason wouldn’t see him. He crept closer…closer…closer….and then:

“READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!” Laughing Jack screeched when he was behind Jason.

Jason jumped, startled by his presence, but then he collected himself.

“You scared me, Jack. Why do you have to keep doing that?” Jason asked, slightly annoyed and greatly embarrassed.

“Love ya too.” Laughing Jack said, wrapping an arm around his waist. He kissed the top of Jason’s forehead.

Jason rolled his eyes, but he gave a soft smile.

“There’s many things that I absolutely abhor in this world, but I can never stay mad at you.“ Jason said.

Laughing Jack grinned and kissed Jason on the cheek. He smiled even wider after hearing Jason’s twinkling laughter, a beam that frightened the ghosts.

He watched as Jason’s scarlet hair faded back to white, as his skin began to decay, as his eyes went from mild brown to violent green, his hands form into claws, and his teeth sharpen.

It was Jason’s real form. He only showed it around Laughing Jack and whenever he was absolutely furious with his victims. Most of the time, he took on a “beautiful” form to trick people into listening to him.

To Laughing Jack, Jason was always beautiful.

“You know, there’s something I need to tell you. Alone.” Laughing Jack said.

“But we are alone.” Jason said.

“No, we’re not. There’s dead people here. I want to talk to you without the dead people.” Laughing Jack said.

“Oh, alright. Just let go of me and I’ll put this doll where the rest are.” Jason said.

Laughing Jack did as he was told, pushing down the excitement that was threatening to swallow him whole.

……………………………………………………

Jason had found a good place to put the doll. Luckily, after much searching in the carnival, the same could be said for Laughing Jack.

He and Jason were both in the darkest part of the carnival, one where no human thought to look and no ghost dare venture. The sun was gone, replaced by the moon and stars.

It was just the two of them.

“Jason, we’ve spent eighty-two years together. Eighty-two years. That’s longer than when I was first trapped and longer than when I was trapped again. When I met you, I thought that you only wanted to hurt me. That you only wanted to use me.” Laughing Jack said.

Laughing Jack thought back to when Elijah Edbuckle found him killing a little girl in a darkened alley and how Elijah had trapped him in the very wooden box that had confined him years ago. He felt so helpless, so defeated. He couldn’t believe that a human had found his one weakness. Elijah must have found it somewhere in the woods, there was no other explanation.

Then along came Jason, who had visited him with magic. Laughing Jack didn’t think anything of it then, but suddenly, Jason had freed him and that was the beginning.

“Until I met you, I was certain that there was no one to trust. No one who could love. But you…you changed that.” Laughing Jack said.

He got down on one knee, prepared to ask the very question that haunted his mind for many years.

“Jason Connor Meyer, will you marry me?” Laughing Jack asked.

Jason grinned, the decaying skin wrinkling around his monster teeth adorably.

“Yes, Jack! I will marry you!” Jason said giddily.

Laughing Jack took out the present that was in his pocket. It was a simple doll made from his cloth and the flesh of a child. It had synthetic strands of hair, button eyes, and a stitched-on smile.

“I made you this doll as a token of our love. I’m sorry that it’s not very detailed. I tried my best to make it as splendid as your dolls.” Laughing Jack said, handing Jason the doll. He tried his hardest to make a doll that Jason would want, but making dolls was not his strong suit.

Jason took the doll into his own claws and stroked a claw against its cheek.

“It’s the most lovely sight I’ve ever beheld. It makes me think of you, Jack. How you have so much to offer. How the blood glistens in your teeth like roses and how your claws are elegant and precise…a human wouldn’t understand the value of you or this doll. It is one that I will cherish forever, because you made it for me.” Jason said.

Laughing Jack felt his own face flush a pale gray. He was so nervous while making the doll. Nervous that Jason would say no, nervous that Jason wouldn’t accept his gift.

“Because you made this, I’m going to keep it in a place where it can be protected eternally.” Jason said.

He placed the doll on the ground and opened up his chest. Inside it was a blue music box with gold stars, kept in between his rotten lungs.

Jason then kneeled down to the ground and picked up the doll.

“Could you put the doll in the box?” Jason asked.

“I’d be happy to oblige.” Laughing Jack said.

Jason gave the doll to Laughing Jack. Laughing Jack took the doll in one claw and opened the lid of the music box with the other.

Gently, he placed the doll in the box, where it would be safely kept.

“Want me to sew your chest back together?” Laughing Jack asked.

Jason nodded.

Without further ado, Laughing Jack took out the needle in his pocket, ready to sew Jason back together again.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
317 Reviews


Points: 62458
Reviews: 317

Donate
Sat Feb 10, 2024 3:11 pm
View Likes
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello, My Friend!

Pleasure to meet you! I am Raven, and I'd like to review this fanfiction using my Familiar method today! It's inspired by the YWS'mores method, but with the touch of a fantasy-horror writer. Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh…

What The Black Eyes See...

I was so excited to find a Creepypasta fanfiction in the Green Room! It was a really nostalgic moment, and furthermore, I love that you choose to rep Laughing Jack -he used to be one of my favorites, and I was always bitter because he seemed underappreciated. Anyway, rambling aside, the story itself was as creepy as it was adorable! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

As far as objective structure, it was a pretty solid story and I can't point to much, I only have two recommendations I could make from a personal perspective. The first being your choice of punctuation for dialogue. You seem to end dialogue with periods, whereas traditionally and grammatically speaking, it's commas that separate dialogue. Example:

"I'd be happy to oblige." Laughing Jack said.


Would be..."I'd be happy to oblige," Laughing Jack said.

On that note, I also think a little diversity in your dialogue tags would do wonders for your writing. Replacing "said" with terms like exclaimed, growled, chimed, mumbled, etc. You could also use action to replace tags, such as when you remark on that adorable rotten grin or Jason admiring the doll: use that line to lead into dialogue, instead of ending with "said" again.

Of course, I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt. Likewise, please know that none of these minor details took away from the overall enjoyment of the story, especially since it's fanfiction and therefore meant to be fun ~

Why The Grin Widened...

You wove together so many great moments between these two characters! I never really thought of these two being a ship, but the way you present it, you got me on board -I like it already! From Jack thinking about Jason and working on something special, to him presenting the doll with a marriage proposal, the short love story is made all the better by your details like rotten, cockroach-riddled flesh, talk of ghosts, and a creepy carnival. Really gives a feeling of Gothic romance.

My absolute favorite moment, that was handled so well, was when Jason had Jack place the doll into his music box. I mean, a token of love going straight into his life source felt like a powerful moment. You showed us how true cryptid love is done, there!

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, you made an incredible short story! I really enjoyed myself, and you may have even made a new favorite ship for me! Very nicely done! :)

Image






I%u2019m so glad you liked this! Most of my Creepypasta fanfiction centers around Laughing Jack.





I have also written a story on LJ and Jason%u2019s wedding if you want to go check that out. :>



User avatar
114 Reviews


Points: 9484
Reviews: 114

Donate
Fri Feb 09, 2024 5:05 pm
View Likes
Ley wrote a review...



Hello! Ley here to review this awesome piece for you!

First impressions...

Firstly, I wanted to say that out of all the works I've read by you, even though they're all amazing, this is my favorite one! I was captivated from the start of the story to the finish: and when I read that this was creepypasta, I knew I would love it even more. Laughing Jack was a staple in horror for me growing up, so it was super interesting seeing your interpretation and twist on this classic horror-tale. Now, let's get straight into this review!

When I was reading this I felt...

Creeped out, but at some points I also smiled. The way you described Laughing Jack and Jason's relationship was sooo cute. It kind of reminded me of The Addams Family, how they found love and contentment in the dark and eerie way of life. This chapter gives off a gothic romance vibe (which I'm obsessed with).

My favorite line/quote is...



He placed the doll on the ground and opened up his chest. Inside it was a blue music box with gold stars, kept in between his rotten lungs.


This was my favorite paragraph because the imagery here was unbelievable! I vividly imagined Jason opening up his chest-- weirdly enough, I wasn't grossed out at this part-- and stowing away the gift that his lover got him. I especially loved your choice of words: gold stars, rotten lungs. Nice word choice here!

Some things that could be improved are...



Laughing Jack thought back to when Elijah Edbuckle found him killing a little girl in a darkened alley and how Elijah had trapped him in the very wooden box that had confined him years ago. He felt so helpless, so defeated. He couldn’t believe that a human had found his one weakness. Elijah must have found it somewhere in the woods, there was no other explanation.


Okay, so this paragraph confused me a little only because the very first sentence comes off as a run-on to me. Try separating it with a comma, or split it into two sentences, like this:

Laughing Jack thought back to when Elijah Edbuckle found him killing a little girl in a darkened alley, and how Elijah had trapped him in the very wooden box that had confined him years ago.


I also feel like that extra 'had' before the word 'confined' was a little unnecessary. These are all suggestions, though, so take it with a grain of salt!

Overall...

This was an awesome read! I'm now an even bigger fan of Laughing Jack than I was before! Thank you for sharing and I cant wait to read more of your work in the future <3

With Love,
Leya






You like Laughing Jack too?

Fantastic. Marvelous. Stupendous.




The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.
— Aristotle