Rage is a sickness
full of brutal anger
and dark desires.
Attiude is a heartless emotion
vowed to stand up and
speaked with honest disrespect.
Neglection is a painless fear
as sorrow is to negative tears
and drama caused ruthless fights.
As death becomes a cursed night.
The wrath of a fearless shadow
follows you during the sunniest days
while the cruel death stalks you on
the coldest darkness nights.
I like your use of metaphors. I specifically like how you compared death to a stalker. although that may be slightly cliché, it's pretty accurate. We often don't know it's coming until it's there--it sneaks up on us. When we do know it's coming, we try to avoid it but often can't.
keep writing!
Hiya!!! I love this one! Here's my comments!
Rage is a sickness
full of brutal anger
and dark desires.
Attiude is a #FF0000 ">heartless emotion #FF0000 ">Interesting connection...makes me think!
vowed to stand up and
#FF0000 ">speak? with honest disrespect. #FF0000 ">Hahaha! Love this!
Neglection is a painless fear #FF0000 ">Wow, making me think again!!!
as sorrow is to negative tears
and drama caused ruthless fights. #FF0000 ">I can relate...
As death becomes a cursed night. #FF0000 "> Love this line!
The wrath of a fearless shadow
follows you during the sunniest days #FF0000 "> So true, like the living dead
while the cruel death stalks you on
the coldest#FF0000 ">, darkness nights.
Hi sgp! This is a huge improvement over a lot of your poetry I've read. Congratulations! I see you've been taking our advice.
This is actually a pretty good poem! I like your theme- ragging on emotions themselves, rather than using one as a basis. Just a few nitpicks:
Rage is a sickness
full of brutal anger
and dark desires.
#FF0000 ">Attitude is a heartless emotion
vowed to stand up and
#FF0000 ">speak with honest disrespect.
Neglection is a painless fear
as sorrow is to negative tears
and drama caused ruthless fights.
As death becomes a cursed night.
The wrath of a fearless shadow
follows you during the sunniest days
while the cruel death stalks you on
the coldest #FF0000 ">darkest nights.
Hi there, sgppoetry. 
Wow! This is awesome, this poem doesn't know the word "cliché". I am impressed, 'cause... honestly, this is one of the best poems I've read so far in YWS. It flows nicely, it is very deep and it's amazingly worded. So I congratulate you for the talent. Now, I noticed you put a period after every sentence, but this poem lacks commas!
So here I go, some nitpicks:
sgppoetry wrote:#FF0000 ">Attiude is a heartless emotion
vowed to stand up and
speaked with honest disrespect.
sgppoetry wrote:Neglection is a painless fear
as sorrow is to negative tears
and drama caused ruthless fights.
As death becomes a cursed night.
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