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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

​Keeping your eyes on Jesus/ Tunnel Vision (Essay)

by sassyforElohim


Introduction Have you ever felt like you were trapped at sea without a life jacket? Have you ever felt stressed to the point of no return? I will admit that I have felt this way before and it is a serious matter. In times like these I apply scripture to my life. Matthew 14: 29-30 (ASV) says 29 And he said “Come”. And Peter went down from the boat and walked upon the waters to come to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried out saying*, Lord, save me!”*

Thesis Today I will be explaining how to apply this scripture in your life. In this particular scripture, we see Jesus telling Peter to walk to him on water. The moments to come after that seemed heightened to Peter. In Peters mind he was probably thinking, how can I walk? How deep is this water? Are there sharks in the water? Why is Jesus so far away? Can I make it to Jesus? Due to the confusion and doubt in Peters mind, it caused him to sink. In this writing I will be advising you on how to keep your mind on God, how to maintain focus and keeping your faith that everything will be alright.

Body l Keep your mind on God (Being immovable)

The bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NKJV) to be immovable and steadfast. In other words, look to God and keep your eyes there. Peter had one job, to walk on water to Jesus. He did not meet this potential. You could even say that he was the opposite of immovable. Because his mind was the opposite of immovable, he broke his focus and allowed the enemy to harass him mentally. In times such as these, I encourage you to know that it is not in vain to hold your temper and bind spirits of doubt, fear, hopelessness and despair. This can include anger, sadness, anxiety and rage. Sometimes this means taking the higher road in situations because of who we serve and the knowledge that we possess. This also means holding your tongue and not arguing with senseless people. By doing these things, you can maintain focus and assist yourself in not making the same mistake that Peter made when he was not steadfast on God and the things thereof.

Body II Maintain your focus (Do not be unstable in your faith)

In 1 Peter 4:12, God tested the faith of Peter. (1 Peter 4:12) 12 beloved, do not be amazed or bewildered at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test your quality, as though something strange and alien to you and your position. Things are going to happen and test your faith in God. These events can easily displace someone who is unstable in God and themselves. Although Peter was a disciple, he still had some unstable ways. (James 1: 8 KJV) 8 A Double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Because of his instability he had a lack of faith and his mind wondered. He then started to sink. We would hope that Peter learned to keep a tunnel vision going forward. Keeping tunnel vision intact is something that is not always easy however, it is very possible. This current season in my life has caused me to keep my eyes and heart on God daily in order to progress. Having tunnel vision has aided me to keep out the distractions of my generation and form testimonies! During this time, I have made sure to keep praising God and to upkeep the faith that is in my heart.

Body lll (Faith that everything will be alright!)

Even though Peter did start to sink, Jesus held out his hand in Matthew (14: 31-32) 31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand and took hold of him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thy doubt?” 32 And when they were gone up into the boat, the wind Ceased.” This scripture shows us that even if we feel lost or without direction, God is right there to give provision. Since you are never alone, make sure you hold on to the joy that God has gifted you until your storm has passed. Psalm 30: 5 (ASV) says 30 Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. By the time you look up, the ordeal that was taking place will have resolution.

Conclusion Upkeep the joy that God has gifted you until your storm has passed. This may be difficult because your highs seem high and your lows feel the lowest. It is in fact a ploy of the enemy to make you feel like you are barren. I encourage you to speak to that sunken place and affirm who you are! 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV) But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s specials possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of the darkness into is wonderful light.” With this understanding, I pose a question. The next time you have a tribulation, will you Keep your eyes on Jesus?


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Thu May 09, 2024 12:52 am
NumberG says...



Wonderful, I have always loved the story. Loved that we can have hope through faith.




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Fri Jul 28, 2023 11:59 pm
GengarIsBestBoy says...



Oh! One thing I forgot in my review: I recommend changing the category of this to “article/essay” (Novels are fiction works that have multiple parts, while articles/essays are non-fiction. Hope this helped!)




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Fri Jul 28, 2023 5:40 pm
GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...



Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review! (Note: I am going to be reviewing this from a literary/grammatical perspective rather than a religious one :D)

I like how you back up your statements with sources / verses. Using sources in essays makes your argument stronger and gets your point across more easily. I also like the introduction, which pulls the reader into the essay with struggles that they have most likely faced in their day-to-day lives.

I think you could improve on the structuring of the essay itself. For example, some of the titles are on the same lines as the essay itself, such as this:

Thesis Today I will be explaining how to apply this scripture in your life.


“Thesis” should be on its own line above the section, to avoid confusion. The same applies to the Introduction and Conclusion.

Additionally, the verse in the beginning has a confusing structure.

Matthew 14: 29-30 (ASV) says 29 And he said “Come”. And Peter went down from the boat and walked upon the waters to come to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried out saying*, Lord, save me!”*


Now, I’m not really an expert in literary citations (especially not with religious/sacred texts), but if I had to guess, I’d say that putting the verse in quotes would make it more clear, and that the page numbers would go on the end as a parenthetical citation. Like this:

Matthew 14: 29-30 (ASV) says “And he said ‘Come’. And Peter went down from the boat and walked upon the waters to come to Jesus.” (29)
“But when he saw the wind he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried out saying, ‘Lord, save me!’” (30)

Notice that the quotes-within-quotes (such as ‘lord, save me!’) are in single quotes, and the verse as a whole is in double quotes.

I hope my review could be helpful :D
—GengarIsBestBoy




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Fri Jul 28, 2023 3:22 pm
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alpacaboss wrote a review...



Hello!! Welcome to YWS! Glad to meet another Christian here who's actively sharing the faith. When I first saw your work in the green room, I immediately became filled with excitement. I can't wait to give my opinions and thoughts on this, not only to help you improve on the technical stuff like grammar and format, but also give suggestions on how to make it more impactful and relatable to the youth. I hope my review will help!

TOPIC: The topic is catchy, relevant, but also true. I do agree that we need to keep our eyes on Jesus and then everything else will follow. It's also a great topic for many people in this distractions-filled world. The topic is also quite relatable since we tend to feel swamped by the many distractions of this world that we don't know what to focus on anymore.


GRAMMAR/FORMAT: Admittedly, I got a bit confused with the "introduction" and "body I" and so on. Maybe making it bold will help the reader understand that this is in parts. Also, there are others that are personal preferences, like capitalizing the word "Scripture". I noticed that the word "Bible" was not capitalized.

The bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NKJV)


Also the format of the verses are a bit confusing. Maybe we can make it like this...

Matthew (14: 31-32) 31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand and took hold of him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thy doubt?” 32 And when they were gone up into the boat, the wind Ceased.”

(then the entire passage italicized)

There are also parts where a comma is lacking. That's all.


CONTENT and SUGGESTIONS: If ever I come across as harsh in any of my statements, do forgive me. I just want to help point out some stuff to you.

Introduction - I felt this part was a bit too rushed. You started with a sentence or two about how this applies to our life, then insert Scripture right after. Those who may not know the Lord or even new believers may be taken aback, thinking it would sound preachy. Whereas if you affirmed that they're not alone in their feelings, elucidated the kind of responses to that feeling, and told them that you knew the best way to cope with that feeling, you would get their attention immediately.

Thesis -

Bodies - (1) Focus on God (2) Maintain the focus (3) Faith everything will be alright. These are great points, but I believe they can be structured to be more clear especially with points 1 and 2 being similar.

Perhaps...
1. Seek God (or "Find God" for all F hahaha)
2. Focus on God
3. Faith in God

In this outline, it's more gradual and less abstract. After all, we seek God by focusing on God and this strengthens our faith in God. Exactly how Matthew 14: 27-33 does it. Your bodies were well written, however, I found some parts to be repetitive and similar to each other.

From my observations, I believe it's important to have a main focus in mind before we make an outline. after all, there are so many lessons we can glean from one part of Scripture, like this passage. We can focus on the patience and grace of Jesus to Peter or we can talk about how Peter is like us, willing to follow Jesus yet lacking in faith.

Conclusion - Personally, it's nice to try to affirm yourself, but the best way to cope with this sinking feeling is to go back to God. He is the One who encourages us through His Word. So the best ending is that we need to keep our eyes on Jesus, whether good or bad. [reminds me of the song Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman hahaha]

Overall, I can't wait to hear more from you! This was quite refreshing for me to read because I love talking about anything about my faith. (even more than writing! I think it's obvious by the length of my review hehe)

This is alpacaboss, signing off.

P.S. Just a really random question, do you have a favorite Christian book? I would be interested to know what it is :D





I am just curious-have I ever been on the bottom quote-thingy?
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