i like it but it seems like a bunch of diferent poems because nothing realy fits together
[b]All the Rhythms[/b]
I lost myself in that moment
Or maybe,
Maybe I found myself.
Chaos is a funny thing
When everything whirls and
Everything twirls
And the fluorescent lights flicker
On and off,
On and off.
Can you feel it?
Can you taste the flow
On the go
Can you see me,
Watching you
As you jump and spin
With no rhythm
In perfect time with the madness?
It’s time to slow
When the linoleum grabs at
My toes
And threatens to pull off
My outer coating.
No longer floating.
But momentum, you know?
Once you start, there’s no stopping,
Not for all the tea in China.
You and me,
No one else.
Speaking slowly,
Quickly, frantically
Sweetly, sour
With nothing but our
Shuffling feet,
Knocking knees,
Lashing arms
Swaying heads
As music pounds in the darkened distance.
Howl, they said,
Scream it out
Choose one thing and lose it
Lose it through your waving fingers,
Lose it through your blistered toes.
No one knows
But you,
You and your heaving chest.
I lost myself in that moment
Or maybe,
Maybe I found myself.
Dance, child.
Dance as if no one was watching,
And none with be the wiser
Let the chaos take you higher,
Higher than you’ve ever been
And when at last
It stops
Breathe in the sweet musk of life
And taste the stillness.
i like it but it seems like a bunch of diferent poems because nothing realy fits together
For some reason, this poem made me cry. This...I'm being very honest, is one of the best things I have ever read and believe me, I do not say this often, but this will definitely have to go in my favorite poems for life...I really enjoyed this and I don't think you should change a single word of it. I'm not gifted to write this way but this is most divinely sensational...I loved this from the bottom of my heart.
*Speaks nothing except goodness of a masterpiece*
Grr...and you're younger than me....
its a nice poem, but I think it would be better if you didn't have it rhyme.It just detracts from the meaning of the poem.And the problem is the poem
is so chopped up.No verse flows too well with the rest.And also, I think in the first verse you could just combine it to "I lost myself in that moment
Or Maybe I found myself. " In the last line of the 2nd verse, you could get rid of the second "On and Off".The third verse is okay, and on the forth you should combine the second and third line into "When the linoleum grabs at my toes". In the 5th verse, you should combine a few more lines, and overall, these seem to be all seperate poems, combined into one.And at the last verse, combine the 2nd and 3rd to last lines into "And when at last it stops."
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