z

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

The Prime Control Chapter 8: Mordred and the Demons

by keeperofgaming


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

“Mordred?”

My words caused a spark of confusion among my classmates, but the beast looked up in curiosity.

“Morp Morp… nam herd. Who you?”

“Wait, Mordred? Like King Arthur’s son? William, you think that’s him?”

Of course, Cherry spoke at the worst time.

“THAT BEING IS NOT MY FATHER!!!”

His aura was dark and caused fear in everyone present.

He stood, the twisted son of Arthur. The one cursed by Taurael to be like a demon.

“Not father. Not father. Not father.”

He rubbed his head.

“… that… that’s sad…”

I couldn’t help but feel pity for the fiend. Despite what I knew he’d done… it was tragic.

“You… you smell of lake… You smell of the lady…”

He pointed a clawed hand at me.

“You… you… YOU DID THIS!!!”

“AH!”

I barely dodged the enraged Mordred.

“You cursed me!”

Then he saw her float in front of him.

“Lady of the Lake… You did this. You cursed me… DIE!!!”

The trees bent to his will and attempted to bind Taury, as expected of Morgan’s son, but Taury dodged and flew to Maven.

“Run now!”

“Got it. Everyone Run!!!”

We sprinted as Mordred roared. Then Taury kicked him, interrupting the roar, and knocking him in the water, before flying after us quickly.

We got far enough and stopped for a breath. Only Grace and Maven looked okay. Cherry grabbed me and slammed me to a tree.

“Okay, I’m irritated. Explain now!”

“Cherry?”

“I’m done with this, Grace. He knows something. He tells that weird version of king Arthur and then we see the rock. That’s fine, easy coincidence. Then we see ******* Mordred, cursed and shouting about the Lady of the Lake. And I may not like the idea of fey, but that certainly wasn’t an animal, nor was it human. And it reacted to both names. So, what the absolute **** are you hiding from us.”

A bunch of classmates were nodding.

“I… can’t quite tell y-“

“Found you.”

A blackened hand grabbed my back, shattering the tree as it dragged me away.

I looked up and saw Mordred.

“You… you smell like her… I know what to do… She took everything from me. I’ll take everything from her.”

Then Maven tackled him.

She had her fangs, tail, and ears out and was moving like a wolf.

“Little mutt, don’t interrupt my fun!”

“There they are!”

Several people ran over and some gasped at Maven’s flicking tail and ears.

“I said, go back to camp. Pan, what happened?”

“Sorry ma’am, they wouldn’t listen.”

“I should have assumed that. Well. Mordred, huh? Never thought I’d fight such a powerful being.”

“Little pup, leave me alone. I wish to butcher that one. The one that smells of the lady.”

Cherry blinked.

“Smells of the lady… William, are you dating the lady of the lake or something.”

“Not yet.”

“… William that was a joke.”

“I am aware.”

“You are actually dating the ******* Lady of the ******* Lake?!”

“Ehhhh…”

“Yes. Yes. Exactly. He smells of her. If I butcher him, then the lady loses all. Just as she took everything from me, I’ll take everything from her.”

“You already did that.”

Everyone turned.

“Is that Teresa?”

“It is!”

Mordred smiled.

“Oh, and how did I do that, dear lady?”

The people looked at Taury, who’s wings began to stretch as her gaze turned dark.

“You killed Arthur, my best friend. You are right about one thing; he is not your father.”

Her glare caused even the fiend to shiver.

“You don’t deserve to be the offspring of one as great as him.”

He growled.

“I wi-“

“Mordred~ Stop. We want the boy alive, remember?”

A demon walked out and Mordred smiled.

“Friend. Friend! The Wicked Lady is here.”

He turned to Taury, who’s look was of murder.

“Ah yes, hello.”

“Hand over William if you do not want to be cut in half.”

“Awe, how rude, not even a greeting in response. Not kind, Taurael.”

Maven stiffened, as did Grace and Brent.

Taurael snarled.

“What’s your game?”

“First, greetings. Greet me, Taurael, nicely.”

She stiffened.

“Hello, it’s a pleasure to see you.”

The disgust at the pleasantries was evident, but even the regular people recognized that she was unable to resist.

The demon looked at me.

“And for y-“

Give her another order and I rip your throat out.

The demon leapt back and shook.

“What… an aura… for a simple human? No wonder the Hunter wants you alive. The mana feed alone would be incredible.”

He smiled, while caught off guard, my threat didn’t stick.

“Taurael, don’t resist and make sure that any runners are killed… Nod, Taurael.”

She nodded, her teeth gritting.

“Now, everyone, follow me, including you, Taurael. You are the most important piece here.”

Maven looked at the students.

“Follow his directions. She can’t resist his orders right now, and with Mordred here, Morgan can’t see us… much less help.”

The demon smiled at Maven’s understanding of the situation.

Both me and Taury recognized the direction we were going.

“You can’t do that!”

“Oh, and why not? Taurael, tell him I can do it.”

“I can do it.”

She smirked at the demon. She may not be able to resist his orders, but she didn’t need to follow what he meant.

Another demon jumped down.

“Is the lake secure?”

“Yes, the merfolk have fled and the knight is bound.”

“Not killed?”

The demon looked confused.

“Delcel, if I were to kill him, the lady would go into a rage. Then she would be too fast to administer a command.”

Delcel, the demon with Taury on a leash sighed.

“I suppose that’s fair.”

“Indeed, if you killed Simial, even a name command couldn’t contain my wrath. If you froze my body, I’d rip you apart with my magic.”

“Well, I suppose that was a rare smart moment for you, Cilth.”

“Why thank you.”

Taury sighed in relief that Simial was alive, but she still couldn’t break the name command.

I was still held by Mordred.

Cherry walked next to me.

“So, are these fey?”

“Maven and Taury are. The shadowy guys are demons, and I’m not sure what the oaf carrying me is.”

Delcel laughed.

“He’s a demon too. The only reason he isn’t a fully fledged one is that mind breaking curse your charming lady put on him. If I could break it, I would, but of course, I’m not as strong as her. If I didn’t know her name, I would never have brought him into play.”

“Careful, you’ll almost sound like you care.”

The leading demon snickered.

“My, it’s so funny, you think that just because we don’t sympathize with our food, that we are heartless. Please, we care for one another, but what sympathy should be spared for food. Do you feel bad for a cow before butchering it?”

I smiled.

“You’ve clearly never met a vegan.”

“If they genuinely feel bad for the cow being butchered, I don’t think they’re fit for eating. No meat just hurts the taste.”

The demon was actually confused that vegan existed, it would’ve made me laugh… if not for the fact that Taury was being controlled and I was being fireman carried by her best friend’s son.

“And here.”

The lake was covered in blood. Eviscerated human corpses were strewn around, causing many students to gasp.

“I see you already had breakfast.”

“You were taking a while.”

“Fair enough.”

One of the students gasped.

“Is that…?”

Simial was bound, his ribs clearly crushed, while he still looked like he did yesterday, he had visible gills and webbed ears.

“The lifeguard.”

“Lifeguard?”

Cilth looked around.

“Looks like he failed at that job.”

“Now, Taurael…”

Simial stiffened.

“Tell me, where is the gate to the Sylvian woods.”

“YOU CAN-“

“In the bottom… of the lake. Past… the artifact.”

Simial’s eyes darkened as he realized what was happening.

“You filth. Using the Lady’s name! I’ll butcher you. I’ll kill you and use your entrails for cleaning!”

“Taurael, open the gate.”

She shook resisting it with all of her power.

“Taury, please.”

Maven looked hopeless. If the gate opened then the demons would have a pixie army. An army with nigh unlimited power.

“Taurael, do it. Open the gate.”

She shakily raised her hands.

“Oh… great woods… bring open the gates. Accept your ki-“

“CONTROL!!!”

With every fiber of my being, I interrupted the command with my power.

She froze and her eyes glowed a bright white.

“Master, what do you need?”

Delcel looked at me in utter shock. As did everyone else.

“Taurael, open the gate!”

The command slashed at my mind, but I looked into myself and pulled forth a massive amount of mana.

“MORDRED, RIP OUT HIS THROAT!”

Taury, listen to me.

My aura caused Mordred to drop me and back up in shock.

By my power I administer this one command.

Simial and Maven looked at me in fear, A power they could not predict would be mine.

You require a ruler that is why the name was made to control you, yes?

She nodded.

Then I administer this order. I am your ruler. You will only take commands from me; your name no longer binds you. None but me may command you.

Grace and Maven shook with fear.

Delcel and Cilth were gaping at me. Delcel then smiled.

“That won’t work, human.”

Simial was looking at me hopefully. Like he had no other choice but to hope I could do it.

Brent and Amy were shocked at my magic, now that they finally knew what I possessed.

Cherry and the other students were frozen as they could barely understand what was happening.

This order I have made… do you understand it?

“Yes, Master.”

Will you follow it?

“Yes, Master.”

I sighed and fell.

“Release.”

Delcel smiled.

“Well, now that that fiasco is done, Taurael, open the gate.”

“I don’t think I will.”

Delcel blanched.

“W-what?”

“Are you deaf, little demon. The name doesn’t work anymore.”

He backed up as Maven and Simial broke into a smile. I did it. The impossible.

“No. That’s impossible!”

“Not impossible as it just happened~”

She turned towards the fiend that was now quivering.

“Run Mordred, the time for mercy in death has not arrived. Flee and suffer.”

Then he fled, screeching and wailing.

“And for you two…”

She turned to the two demons with a wicked grin.

Delcel smiled.

“Tricky, no matter, Cilth, report this, I’ll hold her back then catch up.”

Cilth nodded then began to run, before his foot passed from the clearing, light circled around him and shone like a vibrant sphere.

We heard his screeches as he was reduced to dust by the sheer force of light.

Delcel blanched.

“C-Cilth?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I hit the wrong one? Oh, darling, I don’t think you understand~”

He turned, shivering at the smiling pixie.

“The moment I was freed, neither of you were leaving the glade. You should have run.”

Delcel backed up.

“Please, have mercy, I can be useful!”

“Hm, let me think. I know, I’ll grant you the same mercy your friend granted these people.”

She gestured to the corpses.

Her smile caused the demon to shiver, then she spoke.

“Maven, bring the students back to camp, and Simial, go with them for now. I’ll call you back to clean up this mess.”

“Yes, my lady.”

Maven unbound him and picked me up, before addressing the students.

“We return to camp. I think we all need a break.”

The students nodded. Then I realized something.

There were only 20 of us, but that was still a problem. If they blabbed, there would be chaos. Especially if Cherry did… since she openly thought magic was a stupid idea. I knew what I needed to do.

We returned to camp and Maven sat me on a log next to the fire.

“Can I talk to everyone?”

Everyone turned to me.

“I’ve been thinking, and I realized that having you guys know, while being fun, would be worse overall.”

Cherry raised a brow.

“Why would it?”

“Because, this world is known as the last bastion of humanity, that means that our species is in a fragile balance, if one of you were to accidentally speak to the wrong person, or even accidentally reveal a fairy or what not… then it would cause chaos. One that could result in severe problems for humanity.”

“So, what are you saying, you gonna kill us or something?”

I looked at Cherry with an irritated look.

“You’ve seen what I can do, do you really think that I need to kill you to keep something secret.”

Brent grasped what I meant first.

“You’re going to wipe our memories of today.”

“Not wipe, alter, wiping would allow an opening, if I simply remove the fey parts, the mind should theoretically put in placeholders…”

I turned to Maven.

“I will also need to alter your and Ms. Pan’s memories, but far less so.”

Maven nodded.

“To hide that magic. I fully understand.”

“Yes, I can’t let Morgan figure out I have it.”

“Then why are you speaking of it now?”

“Because Mordred is close enough that she can’t hear us.”

I heard a surprised yelp, then a scurry.

“Don’t go too far, stay here until I have completed, then flee.”

I winced and clutched my chest.

“William?!”

A few students looked at me in shock and concern.

Maven looked at me impressed.

“That is quite the versatile power.”

“I like it too. Course, it hurts to use too much.”

“As with all magic.”

Cherry looked.

“By the way, Ms. Maven. If it’s not too rude… what exactly are you?”

“I’m a fey wolf. Much like bestial wolves but we have more fey aspects than bestial.”

“So, you are just a wolf?”

“Yes, occasionally we are born from bestial wolves. My parents were actually bestial.”

I looked in awe.

“That’s so cool!”

She laughed at my childlike awe.

“Indeed, it is.”

“So, biologically, you are the exact same as a wolf.”

“I suppose, in addition, my species, much like pixies, are carnivores.”

Cherry blinked.

“Pixies are carnivores?”

Brent looked interested.

“That’s unexpected.”

I snickered.

“Yeah, Taury refers to vegetables as ‘that stuff that emerges from the dirt.’”

Maven smiled.

“I have no clue how humans and other species eat that stuff.”

Cherry looked at her in curiosity.

“Wait, if there are wolf fey, does that mean that there are dog fey?”

Maven snickered.

“Indeed, there are, once again, though, it is very rare to happen from bestial, and even if it did happen, the unmagical would see us as regular animals. In fact, same as Wings, or I suppose you know her name now, Taurael would be invisible unless she consciously made herself visible, I look like a bestial wolf unless I make myself visible.”

Cherry looked considerate.

“So, you are saying that my pup, Lucy, could be a fey, and I’d be none the wiser.”

“Yes, here, let me show you.”

Then she shook for a moment and a few students naturally jumped back.

“Let me guess, she looks like a wolf now?”

Cherry looked at me.

“Yep, a big one. Can you not see her?”

“Because I have my own magic, I can simply perceive fey. Meaning even with her not revealing herself, I can still see her.”

Maven shook again then spoke.

“Indeed, while it is certainly rare for a human to have magic, they are able to clearly perceive fey.”

Then Cherry had an epiphany.

“OH! That wasn’t an imaginary friend, you were talking to the pixie.”

I smiled.

“Yep, now you understand why I just went along with it.”

“And why you got so ticked off when I told you the rumor.”

“Oh, she thought it was hilarious, I was just kinda white knighting and I went a little far. I shouldn’t have scared you.”

“It’s good.”

“Still, sorry.”

Then Maven looked at me in curiosity.

“I actually have a few questions for you, even if you wipe it from my mind, I would still like to know it.”

“Shoot.”

“How were you able to use that much mana? Your mana pool doesn’t feel nearly big enough for that.”

I sighed.

“One aspect of control allows me to also get the magic attribute of the one I control. That demon I ‘scared off’, I controlled him to cripple himself before using a flame spire.”

“So, you were behind that tower?!”

I nodded as the girl who was skeptical of magic rethought her whole argument.

“Hm, so, you would likely gain my ability to speak to bestials then. Quite a useful power, indeed, but how did controlling the demon allow you to gain that much mana.”

I groaned.

“Demons and a few other races, as you know, have soul conversion.”

Her eyes widened.

“You converted pieces of your soul into mana?! Do you know how dangerous that is?!”

“Hey, I controlled it better this time, there’s no scarring. My mana and soul are just sore. They’ll heal.”

She sighed in relief.

“Indeed, it would certainly be hard to explain to Morgan how her pet got scarred without my memories.”

Cherry raised a brow, as did many others.

I sighed and decided to explain.

“We are currently in the forest of Morgan Lefaye, who, you guessed it, is the queen from my tale. She mended me after a demon hurt me, then she took the chance to slip a magical collar on me, thus enslaving me and making me her pet until I can get it off.”

Grace and Maven’s eyes both widened.

“”SHE PUT A COLLAR ON YOU?!””

Apparently that was an atypical thing.

“The audacity of that spriggan.”

And a bad thing.

Cherry was confused, but not by what I expected.

“Grace? What do you know about this?”

Grace turned and sighed.

“You know what? All of it is gonna be wiped anyways, so why the heck not. I’m a rock golem.”

Cherry gave a look.

“Be serioh my gosh!”

Grace took off her head.

“See, earth. No blood.”

She flipped her head so we could see the neck, and sure enough, there was solid stone.

“Wait, then how do you have humanlike skin?”

“Oh, uncompact dirt and air. That, combined with a thin carbon layer for skin, gives an almost perfect illusion of me being human.”

“Cool. Well, back to the situation with William, what does a collar mean?”

Grace and Maven gave sour faces again.

“A collar means that she wants to dictate everything he does. It’s a cruelty. That’s what it is.”

Simial sighed.

“Please, it’s just a human, collar them kill them, who cares.”

Many of the people looked at Simial in shock.

“Well, this human is worth ten times as much as your sorry behind is.”

Grace snapped.

“Don’t test me, golem.”

“Oh, I’m so scared, you couldn’t even beat a single demon. William has bested three now.”

“One. The other two were beaten by my lady.”

“Do you mean the lady that now serves William?”

He stiffened.

“Don’t remind me of that, or I will shatter you, pebble.”

“Try me, fish.”

Maven stepped between them.

“Grace, do not anger Simial, and Simial, do not discredit William, even you must recognize the danger that comes with someone who can change a being’s nature under the control of Morgan.”

“What Morgan does is none of my concern.”

Then Taury returned, covered in shadowed blood.

“Simial, do not speak ill of William.”

“Yes, my lady, I apologize.”

“Return to the lake and clean up the mess.”

Without another word, Simial sprinted off at a speed that no human could track.

Grace sneered in the direction he took off in.

Taury sighed.

“Please don’t see my knight as a model fey, he loathes humans and doesn’t even know why.”

She sat by me.

“I’m tired.”

Then she leaned on top of me.

“… You’re a bad pillow.”

“Sorry, bout that.”

“How’s your mana looking?”

“Should be full by midnight.”

“Good.”

Cherry looked at us with a raised brow.

“So, this forgetting thing, it’ll happen tonight?”

“Yeah, I’d rather not have as many gaps, so I want to do it as soon as I can.”

“Forgetting thing?”

“Taury, I realized that having them know everything would cause problems, so I’m going to remove their memories of the event using suggest.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Yeah, Maven and Ms. Pan agreed to forget the control.”

“That’s good.”

She fell asleep, tired from both the control and the amount of magic and stress she had today.

Sleep Taury…

“Someone… wake me… at midnight.”

_

I woke up and saw Grace.

“Pretty much everyone is ready.”

I stood up and stretched.

I saw everyone sitting there, including Brent and Amy.

“You two?”

“There are definitely things that we found out that you didn’t want us to know, so we thought, why not?”

Grace sat down.

“And you?”

“Please, I’m not dumb enough to know a pixie’s name, even if it doesn’t work, I could be killed by various people for that knowledge, whether to keep it quiet or to learn it.”

“Alright. You all ready? Suggest.”

Before they nodded I used my power, I also stretched it to Mordred, making me once again have a massive headache.

“Mordred, you will not remember my command to Taurael or any other, you will only remember that Delcel messed up and Taurael killed him before he and Cilth could stop her. Release.”

He released, but due to my prior command he couldn’t leave yet, but he wouldn’t remember this part.

“Now all of you will forget my control power but Grace. All of you but Maven will forget Taurael’s name, and all of you humans with the exception of Brent and Amy, you will forget anything you saw of fey today and the previous day. Brent, Amy, you two saw the events, but our classmates were not present. Do you all understand?”

“”””””””Yes…””””””””

“Maven, you saw my actions, watched me fight off Mordred and help Taury trick the demons into making a bad command, and you saw I had power, because of this, you gained respect for me and trust me more.”

I was not passing up the chance to get a counselor to trust me more.

“Do you understand?”

She swayed, not giving any resistance.

“Yes…”

It seems that since she entered it willingly that it was easier to command her I could only imagine the limits.

“Release.”

Their eyes went back to normal. I checked that Taury was in her small form and snuck her sleeping body in my pocket in case she was still visible.

“Wake up guys, was my story that boring? How did all of you fall asleep?”

“Oh, sorry William, we were tired from the hike.”

“Bah, I’m going to bed. Rude…”

Their minds seemed to connect properly and my little addition reinforced them not asking questions with a smooth release.”

I felt Mordred leave. After all, I was done. His presence wasn’t needed.

Then I climbed the tree and layed on my mattress, putting Taury on my chest.

As the world fell away due to exhaustion, I heard Cherry sigh.

“Guess he was also tired.”

_

I woke up and I couldn’t find Taury, but I knew she was close.

I looked over at Maven’s tent and saw her chatting with Taury.

Well, that answers that.

I turned the other way and saw a chest. I jumped back due to surprise, nearly falling off the tree.

“Grace, what are you doing?!”

“Listen, I don’t know what happened, but I know that you used control for something. What you did with that I won’t ask, but be careful, we are in Morgan’s woods, it would have been easy for her to detect you.”

I sighed.

“I made sure she wouldn’t…”

“Let me guess… Mordred?”

“Yeah.”

“Smart, I will learn how you know that much about it though.”

“How much do you remember?”

“Not much, the demons, you tricking them, and Wings butchering them. How much of that was control memories?”

“I removed her name.”

“Figures, what else?”

“I used control to enable Wings to fight them.”

“Smart. Anything else I should know?”

“Nope.”

That Taury was immune to the name… that would have to remain a secret.

“Here, let me get down.”

“Alright.”

We looked at each other for a second.

“What?”

“That means I need you to not be on the way down.”

“Oh, right.”

She climbed down and I followed before walking over to Maven.

“Hey ma’am could we visit the lake for the last camp day?”

“Despite what happened yesterday?”

“Simial likely cleaned it by now, and besides don’t we want to maintain an idea of normalcy?”

“Good idea.”

After everyone had breakfast, we walked to the lake and were stopped by police tape.

Simial stood, talking with a cop.

“It was terrifying. All I could do was hide and hope it didn’t find me.”

“Did you see which way it went?”

“It went further into the woods, but I doubt it’s alive, I heard the snarl of a wolf pack and a bunch of roaring.”

“So, it was killed by a wolf pack?”

“That’s what I’d assume, but you can’t be too sure.”

“Excuse me, what happened here?!”

Both me and Maven were surprised, Simial cleaned the demons and most of the blood up but left the bodies and various wounds.

“I must apologize, but a bear attacked, I’d suggest evacuating the park until we can find the bear and make sure it’s put down.”

Translation: I can’t just hide fifty or so bodies and act like nothing happened.

Of course, this added the problem that Simial was fully aware of what happened yesterday. Taury was sitting on my head still groggy, she didn’t think to try to get me and Simial alone.

“Well, that’s unfortunate, I suppose that we are going back a day early.”

No one groaned or even argued. For the regular people, that was the first time that they’d ever seen a body. Amy hadn’t wanted to get up, and now I felt that these people could relate.

Brent just told us to go without him. I felt like I understood. At that moment, I was more concerned with saving everyone I could, but actually seeing the bodies without all of the pressure… I could understand how people got PTSD…

I walked to Maven who only seemed sad, not traumatized, and then it occurred to me that she was over a century old, she had possibly seen far worse.

“That… was unexpected.”

“Though we should have expected it.”

“Yeah… that… is terrifying…”

“Certainly, terrifying seeing a murdered corpse the first time…”

“There were children. How could anything do that…?”

“The problem, William, is that you still hope that demons can be reasoned with. They are smart, but they are evil. They don’t care that it’s a child or an adult. They see us as food, but they treat us like toys. They are brutal and merciless. You must understand that. The fact that you’ve survived as many demonic encounters as you have is extraordinary.”

“But… Wing’s decimated them…”

“Yeah, but that’s because one of them messed up… that’s a very extraordinarily rare situation.”

“I see…”

“Yeah, we’re lucky that one of them did, if they didn’t… I would have been forced to hurt her, then the demons would kill me. Pain nullifies the command, so she would have killed them.”

“But… then you would have died.”

“Yes… I’m just happy most of the students stayed on the trail and waited for us.”

“Yeah.”

The bus pulled up.

“Come on.”


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
272 Reviews


Points: 49679
Reviews: 272

Donate
Wed May 22, 2024 4:45 pm
View Likes
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

(sorry in advance, this is a much longer review than I anticipated XD)

Oou, I've been eager to see where this leads ~ It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Wow, that was a great conclusion to this first run-in with Mordred! Tensions were high, and while everyone here pulled through, it certainly didn't feel like the easiest victory -as I would have hoped from such a dire situation and notorious figure. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I didn't find anything to put here this time! Good writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened...

So right off the bat, I like how Mordred was introduced and the way you characterized him. His struggle to even speak clearly, and bestial behaviors, really set him aside from fey, humans, and demons and gave the impression that he really is twisted on every level. Even so...

I couldn’t help but feel pity for the fiend. Despite what I knew he’d done… it was tragic.


Not only did Mordred's first sad words allow us to have a bit of empathy for him, but seeing William pity him was also an interesting point to his character. And better yet, seeing Mordred go into such a rage over the mere presence of Taury -possibly providing a motive for future encounters with William- was great:

“You… you smell like her… I know what to do… She took everything from me. I’ll take everything from her.”


And on a side note, the reaction some students had when connecting the dots and realizing what's going on...

“You are actually dating the ******* Lady of the ******* Lake?!”


Was hilarious, haha.

“Follow his directions. She can’t resist his orders right now, and with Mordred here, Morgan can’t see us… much less help.”


This was an interesting mechanic for Morgan's woods. Not only did it pretty much eliminate the possibility of Morgan saving the day, putting more pressure on William or Taury to do something, but it makes me wonder if Mordred's influence here will be exploited again and for what.

I love how callous the demons are toward humans, but they're not just purely...evil, if that makes sense. With how Delcel described it, they don't feel "heartless" or one-dimensional. And you gave them an interesting dynamic, like here...

“Well, I suppose that was a rare smart moment for you, Cilth.”


Funny, and humanized them a bit. I like it ~

The lake was covered in blood. Eviscerated human corpses were strewn around, causing many students to gasp.


Oooou, all that death, and the lake being covered in blood. That was such an eerie change for what was just recently a place of enchantment and magic. I really loved this detail, and the staging of it all.

William and Delcel fighting for control over Taury had me at the edge of my seat, wondering how and why William would pull through -if he would at all. Having, again, only recently learned the potential and power of pixies, you really get a feel for the danger and risk at hand.

“Then I administer this order. I am your ruler. You will only take commands from me; your name no longer binds you. None but me may command you.”


Smart! William using his control to break the influence of Taury's name not only seems incredibly useful, but it really speaks to the level of power he has, to override that long-established rule of the pixies and the demons exploiting it.

I enjoyed the conversation between the students, especially Cherry, and the fey/William. It made for some funny moments, and even gave us more tidbits of information, like the details on Maven's species. It also built on some of the character dynamics, like here:

Grace and Maven gave sour faces again.

“A collar means that she wants to dictate everything he does. It’s a cruelty. That’s what it is.”

Simial sighed.

“Please, it’s just a human, collar them kill them, who cares.”


I find it fascinating that fey like Maven and Grace are so disgusted by how William is basically Morgan's slave for the time being, yet Simial hardly cares at all and even comes off a bit antagonistic by saying "collar them, kill them, who cares". It's a bit shocking, but charming in a weird way (that may just be me because it gives me Timbur vibes XD). That aside, it's a great way to show the differences in a lot of fey's perspective, regarding humanity.

“The problem, William, is that you still hope that demons can be reasoned with. They are smart, but they are evil. They don’t care that it’s a child or an adult. They see us as food, but they treat us like toys. They are brutal and merciless. You must understand that. The fact that you’ve survived as many demonic encounters as you have is extraordinary.”


I loved reading this because it does reflect the danger of demons, that William could very well have been just lucky to survive this far (and considering his first "lucky" escape involved Taury being crippled and him almost losing access to magic, that's pretty grim). But with that line from Delcel about humans being animals as well, it makes you ask questions. Are they more complex than they seem, or are they truly just bound to evil? Fascinating ~

The attention to detail as William shifts the memories of everybody present was impressive, and him being able to do it so successfully was a good way to show how much the subject's resistance matters (a large group of willing participants seemed a lot easier than one stubborn demon).

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, great conclusion to this encounter! Nicely done! :D

Image




User avatar
1016 Reviews


Points: 138
Reviews: 1016

Donate
Tue May 14, 2024 1:30 pm
View Likes
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the mutated S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - William fights off Mordred and releases Taurael’s name command, alters the memories of nearly everyone there, and…Simial reported the bodies.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to capitalize “King” when Cherry is confronting Grace about William, but that’s just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - I love that William released Taurael from her name command. She’s free, and is only bound to him. He also took the liberty of altering the memories of everyone else present, and that shows responsibility. He’s making sure that most people don’t remember the extent of what he did for the greater good.

Closing Graham Cracker - William may have altered their memories, but Simial reported the attacks. I have a feeling that Simial is trying to hurt William in some way due to his hatred towards humans, but I’m not sure. Perhaps I’ll see in the next chapter.

I wish you a fantastic day/night! :>





If it wasn't for poetry, I couldn't express myself.
— Rosendorn