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Young Writers Society



The Adventures of Rose Hood Chapter 14: The King’s Remorse

by keeperofgaming


King Dalis POV

“Your majesty, what should we do?”

This kingdom had made a grave error. We alienated 2 dragons who wanted to live in peace. I met with the 12 that came with us to fight the duo.

“Don’t tell anyone of Rose’s identity.”

“But your majesty-”

“Deasal, listen, you fought the dragon before she became an adventurer. You are one of the 3 aces. She easily could’ve killed you and justified it when you attacked. Am I wrong in saying so?”

“No, Sir.”

“Yet, she spared you with kindness, and that Royce would be willing to defy my orders to defend her. I doubt he’d do that for just anyone.”

“I’d have to agree, Sir.”

Jalad and I were of one mind on this.

“Jalad, you were close to Rose, correct?”

“Yes.”

“You stated that you were right when she revealed herself, why?”

“During the fight with Saliad, I was remembering before the fight, when she said we wouldn’t be saddened by her death, followed by saying we were rational for it. She fought on even ground with him, something that people said only an S rank or a dragon could do. Plus, her knowledge and the way she spoke differently than most catkin stuck out to me. Then when you factor in her surprising court etiquette it became a decent guess, I still thought it was ridiculous, but I couldn’t put it out of my mind.”

“You are a smart person; it makes sense that you’d put it together before we did.”

“Also, I heard you mention she killed Galswell, what happened?”

“I, in a foolish move, told Galswell to exterminate the fire dragon. Before he could even react, his head was missing.”

“I see.”

Mammon spoke out,

“Is there a way to clear our relationship with her?”

Mammon only spoke clearly when he was serious, otherwise he went overboard in a dwarven accent.

“I think so.”

“Dallel?”

“When I saw her, her glance was dark, but there wasn’t any anger except when you mentioned Saliad and Galswell’s deaths.”

“Why wouldn’t she be angry?”

“Perhaps because she understands why people are scared of dragons.”

“That could be it.”

“Even if she would be willing to forgive us, I doubt we could build a bridge with the fire dragon, we destroyed her nest and broke her eggs.”

“Perhaps. We need to mend the bond with Rose. From the two interactions we’ve had relating to her siblings, we can determine dragons are defensive of family.”

“Yes, that aura, when she heard her brother was killed, would’ve broken the arena if not for the barrier.”

“Where would she have gone through?”

“Maybe back to her home village?”

“I doubt that.”

Royce entered the room with a stern glare at all of us.

“What do you mean?”

“Rose is smart, she managed to hide her presence for years before it was discovered through a draconic contract.”

“She is contracted?”

“She broke it off by request of her master.”

“I see.”

“Why wouldn’t she head to her village though?”

“She thinks we will spread it.”

“So, she thinks that even that village will be dangerous?”

“Yes, if I had a guess, based on direction and expression, she’s heading to Calesen.”

“The elven capital nation?”

“Yes, they hate our nation, so they certainly won’t listen to any messengers, and they have a population of dragon cultists, so she may have rationalized that even if they did figure out her and Thalia’s identity, they would still protect her.”

“That... makes a lot of sense, especially given the rumors.”

There were rumors that a dragon recently took dominion of the nation of Calesen, so if she was aware of the rumors, she may have gone there to meet a sibling.

“This could be bad.”

“Could be? It is bad. We’ve managed to anger 2 dragons... and if the rumor is true, that’s 3 dragons and an elven army with a blood vendetta.”

Royce had a point.

“Well, we need to send someone she trusts to try to cool things down.”

All of us looked at Royce.

“I was already planning on heading out, solo.”

“You need defense.”

“I can guard myself.”

I nodded.

“Please be careful and tell both of them that I am sorry. I let fear drive me.”

“I will.”


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972 Reviews


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Fri Apr 05, 2024 12:09 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the review?

Top Graham Cracker - The King, ashamed that he ever wanted to kill Rose in the first place, asks Royce to come and patch things up, to which he accepts.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - If you wanted to, you could put “is” in italics when he’s talking about how bad it is to emphasize, but this is just a suggestion. You don’t have to do it.

Chocolate Bar - I like that the King wants to make up for his actions instead of lashing out for being called out about his behavior. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to get Rose back on their side, and that’s admirable. Ultimately, however, it is up to Rose on if she wants to join the King or not.

Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a short little chapter that shows the King ready to take ownership for his actions and get Rose back, just like a true King would. I enjoyed reading this. :>

I wish you a fantastic day/night! ^v^




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231 Reviews


Points: 40897
Reviews: 231

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Sat Mar 23, 2024 2:48 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

This was a great chapter to show us the king's current motive, this team's main concerns, and the risks they face now that Rose has fled with Thalia -potentially toward another dragon. Likewise, it told us how they view their friendship with Rose now. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

No corrections to make! This time, I do have a slight suggestion free to take or leave, right here:

“She broke it off by request of her master.”

“I see.”

“Why wouldn’t she head to her village though?”

“She thinks we will spread it.”

“So, she thinks that even that village will be dangerous?”


I feel like some of these lines just got a little mixed up. I know dialogue tags aren't used often in this story, but perhaps a little note about body language to show who's talking, at least with the "why wouldn't she head to her village" line, would help.

Of course, I am not a professional, so please take my advice with a grain of salt ~

Why The Grin Widened...

With the speculation from the king and others, there's a lot of anticipation that was built with this chapter! The fact that we have yet to see Rose's perspective at this point adds to that.

Getting to see things from the king's POV was cool, it dispels the idea that he wasn't being genuine in his regret while still keeping the reader questioning what will happen. I also like how those who knew her well enough can so closely predict her real thoughts on the matter, and why she was so passive until Saliad and Galswell entered the picture:

“Perhaps because she understands why people are scared of dragons.”


Likewise, I enjoyed the immediate follow-up as a way to hint that repairing the bond with Rose may not be so easy, and for Thalia, it could very well be impossible.

“Even if she would be willing to forgive us, I doubt we could build a bridge with the fire dragon, we destroyed her nest and broke her eggs.”

“Perhaps. We need to mend the bond with Rose. From the two interactions we’ve had relating to her siblings, we can determine dragons are defensive of family.”


This also lends credence to the idea that some members of this group may remain on edge with Rose, which -while understandable- may be taken the wrong way. So overall, while the directive is clear for this group, there's still a lot that's unpredictable about how successful they'll be.

“Yes, they hate our nation, so they certainly won’t listen to any messengers, and they have a population of dragon cultists, so she may have rationalized that even if they did figure out her and Thalia’s identity, they would still protect her.”


This was also very interesting; the idea of dragon cultists amid a group of people that already hate this nation. Perhaps Rose will only use them to recuperate, perhaps she'll be persuaded to turn on the king. Even if she doesn't, Thalia may have different feelings, as well as any dragon that may be living there already. Ah, so much to theorize about...

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, awesome chapter, nicely done! :)

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"When a body moves, it's the most revealing thing. Dance for me a minute, and I'll tell you who you are."
— Mikhail Baryshnikov