Hello there, PuffyWuffy!!
I had this poem in my reading list for a long time so I finally decided to give it a look. Yet another good poem by ya! *applauds* But, it had some flaws, like all poems in this universe. And I did point it out but I found that you had received enough reviews but then also I did one. xD
I'm in this place again
Can't escape
What is this dream again?
Why can't I wake?
It's not a nightmare
But I'm so scared
Something dark is lurkng there
A simple, yet good, start to the poem. But the second totally ruins the flow which was building and makes the reader want to pause forcefully. It feels as words spoken by a person who is taking his last breaths. xD Make it a complete sentence. Like: “that I can’t escape”. The third line doesn’t tend to explain anything. Are you asking someone about the dream? It feels so! In the last line there’s a spelling mistake which has already been pointed out by the other reviewers but then also I’ll point it out. It’ll be “lurking” instead of “lurkng”.
Here I am again
I'm lost, but I pretend
That I'm alright,
I hide my fright
And make my way
through another sleepless night....
Hey!! In the previous stanza you said that you were in a dream and you say that you make your way through another sleepless night. *confuzzled* If you are having sleepless nights, then how can you have dreams which are not nightmares but are uncomfortable for you? You need to sleep to have dreams. And one more thing, try not using ellipsis in your poems. It’s disturbs the flow and the concentration and it was not at all needed there.
I hope my review helps. If you have any queries just let me know.
Keep writing.
Points: 67823
Reviews: 254
Donate