Young Writers Society

Hey there!

As Classy and Juliet pretty much both said without actually saying it, there's not much meat or fat to eat off of here. To me, this sounded more like a slogan or some statement you may read on a t-shirt of sorts... and I think that if you really want this to sound poetic, you need a lot of elaboration going.

As there are far too many classifications of what is poetry and what isn't poetry, I'll simply say as many have said before me; poetry is what makes you think and/or feel -- you're not giving us anything to think about, or anything to feel about this. You're pretty much stating a well known opinion or fact about teenagers that's not entirely new knowledge.

Elaborate on this -- perhaps give insight or whatever you feel this needs; bring this to life, and don't be afraid to lean a bit on poetic devices to get you going. =)

June

I'm pretty sure I can see where you're trying to go, but to me it sounds like the beginning of an essay. I interpret it as "We, as teenagers are dramatic, realistic, and occasionally apathetic, but we have every right to be simply because we're teenagers." ...What kind of message are you trying to send? I agree with Classy... you should probably try expanding on this so it doesn't sound like the beginning of a down-hill research paper or grocery checklist. I'd like to see a retouched one, because it seems like a brilliant idea to define the attitude of a teenager through poetry.

So I really have nothing to say about this. I don't see a message or overall theme, except, of course, for the one depicted in your story. I think maybe you should expand on this and then re-post it. It kind of sounds like a conversation. If you come back and add more be sure to let me know!
~Classy