z

Young Writers Society



Lost In The BLue

by ace3900


Lost in the Blue

An island lost in the blue
Is where we find ourselves?
Betwixt and between a setting sun
And the timeless ocean swells
-
Why are we here - and where do we go?
Could this be a mistake?
Of all the places we could be
Why is here our fate?
-
To see other worlds - could this be real?
In my heart I now it is true.
And I will find them all someday
From an island lost in the blue.
-
It is simple what I must do
To build a raft – or is it more?
Go sailing through proud blue crests
That strike against the shores.
-
To find the answer – and more questions
Is how it’s meant to be?
And do not fear what they may hide
Just don’t forget about me
-
I will return when my search is complete
O how my heart is torn
I do not wish to leave
Our parting leaves me forlorn
-
But I will once again being lost in the blue
Is where we’ll find ourselves?
Betwixt and between a setting sun
And the timeless ocean swells.


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Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:31 pm
ace3900 says...



Thanks Dave XD

This poem was inspired by the idea that there are other worlds, other realities out there, and the feeling like you've been placed on the wrong one.

Im actually working on a project to turn this into an EPIC. It should be fun.




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Sun Mar 14, 2010 8:28 pm
davy89irox wrote a review...



This is a beautiful poem.
i really like the imagery, its twilight, dark gloomy-ish,

one of my favorite things - and def. the most unique element in this poem (in my opinion)
is you dont end your thoughts in a stanza - it flows on into the next like waves. That is the little extra kick a good poem needs to be great.

so i say good job - im a sucker 4 ocean poems so - this was right up my ally :D




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Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:15 pm
ace3900 says...



Well, thank you. Theres actually a funny story as to how this was written....

I'll tell you about it if you want




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Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:31 am
KatTrain wrote a review...



And I will find them all someday
From an island lost in the blue.
---- You know the line in a poem that makes you fall deeper into it? This is it, and i LOVE the line!
-

It is simple what I must do
To build a raft – or is it more?
the stanza about ends with blue, which rhymes with 'do'. it is awkward when you have that accidental rhyme here.


Just don’t forget about me
-
I will return when my search is complete
O how my heart is torn
I do not wish to leave
Our parting leaves me forlorn
-
But I will once again being lost in the blue
Is where we’ll find ourselves?
Betwixt and between a setting sun
And the timeless ocean swells.
-- form here i a feel like you copped out and went for the 'oh my heart is breaking' ending which is pretty typical.





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