Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a lovely little piece here. Its rather simple in the idea its trying to bring across and yet its complex at the same time and those emotions that it touches on really are quite powerful here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Diamonds Raind from the sky, it that was that kind of day. The diamond rain that happened once every two centuries was happening today. The people of Urvil were not expecting this, some were hiding in their stone houses. Some took shelter under the trees, and some tried to collect the diamond, and i was one of them. I knew that i was going to be robbed of my diamonds. The people older than me would take my hard-earned diamond and take it for themselves. Even after knowing these i still picked the diamonds from the ground. The thought of the tales that i would be able to tell my future kids gave me the energy. The diamonds varied, some were as black as the starless night sky and some as white as the cold milky snow. I tried to collect more of the white once since they would sell for more (If i was not already robbedoff of them).

Well this is quite the eventful start here. Even given that title I was really not expecting diamonds to actually start just raining from the sky and I am loving this. Its just honestly something I've never seen in a story before and that immediately captures our attention quite powerfully. I think adding onto that surprise factor really well is the way this the goes onto describe those reactions as well. Just talking about how people try to protect themselves from something that's a very real threat to their safety while others brave it to find these diamonds. The little detail about how all of this effort will go in vain is also a very nice touch I think. It really brings to life this character and gives us a glance at what they're going through and why.

With a thud a diamond hit my head. The diamond danced off of my helmet and hit the grassy plane. This was the 40th time the old helmet protected me, the helmet my mother used to keep safe in her metal box. My deceased mother used to tell me tales of the legendary phenomenon that takes place every two centuries when diamonds start to rain from the sky. Up until now ithought it was stupid how something so precious could fall from the sky, but now like my dead mother i would share this tale to my kids.

Oooh this is an interesting place to end off here. Touching us towards this person's family through the little mention of that lovely helmet and the way you the also talk of how the future will see this. Its a really interesting place for us to end up in here. Just a wonderful look at the post and how this person is prepared here and the way the knowledge will be passed. Honesty as I come to this point I only think with this preset, past and future moments so well outline, this could benefit from being a longer piece where each of these moments gets to shine a little more.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall a lovely little short story. Leaves you with much to think about and generally gets our attention quite fast and then proceeds to keep it throughout with a of interesting information relayed to us. I only wish there was more and each of these points could be expanded on a little more.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate

Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

Diamonds Raind from the sky, it that was that kind of day.

simple spelling error here Raind should have an e before the d example Rained, I also feel like this line was hard to read and it might be easier if the it was taken out, might make it flow better, diamond rain cool that's going to hurt if it falls on ya head

The diamond rain that happened once every two centuries was happening today. The people of Urvil were not expecting this, some were hiding in their stone houses. Some took shelter under the trees, and some tried to collect the diamond, and i was one of them. I knew that i was going to be robbed of my diamonds. The people older than me would take my hard-earned diamond and take it for themselves.

crazy person collecting diamonds and others hiding under trees i hope these diamonds aren't to big because the tree might not be good safety

Even after knowing these i still picked the diamonds from the ground. The thought of the tales that i would be able to tell my future kids gave me the energy. The diamonds varied, some were as black as the starless night sky and some as white as the cold milky snow. I tried to collect more of the white once since they would sell for more (If i was not already robbedoff of them).

those diamonds sound so pretty, yes work hard to collect them and don't let anyone rob you
speaking of robbed robbedoff should be two words robbed off again simple mistake that is often made and easily corrected

With a thud a diamond hit my head. The diamond danced off of my helmet and hit the grassy plane. This was the 40th time the old helmet protected me, the helmet my mother used to keep safe in her metal box. My deceased mother used to tell me tales of the legendary phenomenon that takes place every two centuries when diamonds start to rain from the sky. Up until now ithought it was stupid how something so precious could fall from the sky, but now like my dead mother i would share this tale to my kids.

*sighs in relief* she's wearing a helmet okay good now i'm not so worried...i think, shame her mothers dead that's so sad, but it's nice that she want's to share this with her future kids
last mistake found ithought should also be two separate words i thought

overall this was a good read short but it had a lot going for it

anyway that's it from me

hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight

See Ya