I find it hard to believe that, as many gurus say we are made stronger by our disappointments. To me, I feel that the true impact of a disappointment is felt only by the person feeling it. i myself have felt a few and i am sure i did not get stronger by them; if anything, they hurt me badly and caused me to loose confidence my my self and trust in people.
My first and worst disappointment in my life was when my parents broke up when i was only 12 years old. not only did they divorce they made a bitter spectacle of it. i was taking my PSLE at that time and all the support i got was from my elder sister. the two people i loved and still love were too busy destroying each other. I did not matter to them. what mattered was that they each should win. i was pawn in their battle as each told me what to tel the judge. i am glad the matter was over a week before my PSLE. I was content to live with my mother and shuttle to dads house every weekend. Still they continued their battle by drawing awful pictures of each other to me.
When i accepted the terrible reality of my parents then came another blow, my sister decided to move to US as she had met her price charming within the year of my parent divorce and had built up a golden future for herself and her man. No one was there for me now. i waved goodbye to my sis and cried when i hugged her. Strangely enough she showed no emotion and i knew she was not sorry to leave, i was right she was a great disappointment she has not written to me since.
another related disappointment was the shabby treatment i received from my relatives all of them looked at me with piety in their eyes, I was made aware that i was the unlucky one. and since the divorce my grandfathers have not spoken to me.
i have only a few friends about me on whose love alone i depend for anything resembling happiness. i wonder if they too will disappoint men some days i said my disappointments are too heavy to bear. i do not understand how they will make me stronger
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