Young Writers Society

This is a really inspirational piece of poetry, it has so much truth and meaning to it. It is by far one of my personal favorites on YWS. Keep up the good work, Griff

Have you ever read "The Giver" because there was something like this in there and wow.

I like this poem. Though we don't always turn our eyes away from those in need, there are people starving IN the U.S.A.

I do like this though. *star and cookie for you!*

Words cannot describe this poem, it has touched my heart and my soul. Nowadays people don't really think about poverty or other problems in the world, it's just at the back of their minds, sitting there. It takes words, action or something to remind them of what the world really is and this was perfect. I love how when you started the poem right off you said;

"I'm starving"

Sometimes people say that when they skip a meal or two, to imagine someone who didn't get any meals and was on the brink of death... it changed the way I thought about those two words. A whole different meaning and all. Especially when you ended the poem with these powerful words;

“Starving” is only an adjective

Not a verb.

It was pretty gripping, I read your poem at least twice and that's a good thing. I cried a bit, that's how emotional attached you got me. When someone like me cries, it's a million out of ten for this poem.

This is so perfect. I love it so so so much. I really mean it. I feel like my family and one of my friend's family are the only ones not living in a bubble where I live. It just kills me to see kids at school whinging when there are people on the streets outside their homes dying. You captured this brilliantly. You. Are. AMAZING. Understand I don't go around saying this to everyone's poems. *likes poem*

Nightcrawler, hello! Like this poem.

One question. Why is your username Griffinclaw down there?

This piece speaks amazing truth. The imagery from just one line can conjure up so much. The only thing I thought just didn't really fit:

"They have a mommy who can keep them fed

And a loving dad who isn’t already dead"


I don't really see the entire meaning, point you're trying to make...
So, just in my opinion, it came out as a tangent, per say.
That's it; that is all; carry on.

I am going to tell you the truth. I just cried. This is such an amazing beautiful piece of work, accentuating how ungrateful some are, and how they do not realize that there are some who have so much less than them. As I was reading the specific stanza"
“I’m starving.”

A little white child who knows no better

Living in a land of freedom and feathers

Food on the table, three meals a day

Not knowing that there is any other way

They have a mommy who can keep them fed

And a loving dad who isn’t already dead

I completely lost it. This poem made me realize how much that I have to be grateful for and how ungrateful I have been. Thank you, I hope to see much more from you soon.

So first of all this is an amazing piece of work and struck a chord with me. I agree with what you're trying to get at. So many people in this country don't realize how well off they are they just take it all for granted. I am guilty of this but I manage to remain humble to the best of my abilities. Other than that this is fantastic, I love the way it flows and especially the last few lines 'To this country that is so suberb, "Starving" is only an adjective Not a verb.' It just reaffirmed the whole meaning of the poem. Once again great job and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Okay, I don't typically review poetry, but this piece struck a cord with me. My four and five year old sons constantly use the word starving. It's like a daily word they use in place of "hungry," and I have grown tired of it. I have been trying to figure out how to explain to them that they are not starving; they are, in fact, well fed (three meals a day plus snacks) and have not the slightest clue what it is like to "starve," as I do. If they were older, this poem would be perfect to read to them, and perhaps it would give them a clearer understanding the word that they are tossing around absent-mindedly. Anyway, on to the very short review:

The only issues I have are a few grammatical errors here and there, such as a lacking comma or an oddly phrased part, but I will not nitpick, because I know there are others who will. This is the best poem I have read in a long, long time! PLEASE keep writing! Definitely something you were born to do! If you have any questions, feel free to message me!

-FireFox

How very powerful your piece of art is! It tugs and tugs on me. It's the kind of poem that lingers over and sets in on your skin. How very true it is. Although, my life isn't perfect, I do get fed well and I am very guilty of saying, "I'm starving." because I skipped one meal.

At first I thought it might be about eating disorders, and then I realized it was about the people. About my country and their greediness. But I think it's very much about eating disorders in the same way. People who binge eat. People who eat and don't understand what it's like to go without. Isn't that a disorder too? Being wasteful? It's not something I would call orderly.

I also find the rhyme very intriguing in this poem. It flows so perfectly. My favorite part is when you threw off the rhyme at the end. It was very good. I also thought it was interesting what you said. "'Starving' is only an adjective, not a verb". Here I must disagree. I believe that we use it to express our current state, which we would be hungry. But for some people it isn't a current state, it's a constant state and that's the difference.

Although I have yet to read any of your other works, I'm intrigued as to what they might say. You put an entire society in a completely new light and executed killer rhyming skills. Good job.

I'm speechless...and even more after I saw you were the author of this. This is...freaking gold! Do you know how many times during the day I think like this? Ah! Hands down this is the best poem I've read today. *bows*

This is so true. People in the U.S. (including me, I admit it) really take advantage of all they have. They just don't realize how lucky they really are. I specifically remember complaining that I was 'starving to death' when I was little because my dinner ran half an hour late...

its very thought provoking. I like how you said "A little white child who knows no better" there are Meany debates about why we don't do more and complain about privileged subjects. About not having signal and computers and its because we have been brought up in a world witch is very privileged and like you say we know no better. It flows really well its not clunky like other poems. I suggest a bit more context. I enjoyed it. It was great

-TGS

Maybe this will be stupid afterwards, probably.

I agree with your poem, I do, it is true and you did a fantastic job writing it. It is beautiful in it's own way. But you do realize you put the U.S on a very high level especially with

To this country that is so superb,

Dismissing the people I cared about

Wow! This is so well written

I like the obvious message behind this and thought that you did a good job conveying that. I think that as a country we think that we have it hard but we truly don't understand how blessed we are and for some don't understand what is happening in the world around them and that's the sad part. You touched on a major issue in the world today, that while some people live the high life and are always wanting more, there are people out there that just want to know that they will be able to eat today. I think that it was very well written and I don't see anything in it that needs specific changing unless you wanted to change the style of poetry from rhyming to a different in depth, abstract feeling poetry, but it would be longer and you would have to add a lot more detail.

Anyways, I think that you did a great job and you should continue. I can't wait to read something else of yours and the best of luck with all of your writings.

Just so you know, I got an ad for "End world hunger" after this. xD

But on a serious note, the thought does count. This was great.

I think i want to cry right now.I dont like living in america,no one wants to see the bad.They say they want to make everything better for everyone,but hardly anyone will care to notice the really big issues nowadays.Damn im crying.This was so amazing and touching,and i wouldn't change a thing.

Hello there griffin!

You've written a wonderful poem there. It gives the reader a new perspective.

However,the last two lines seem a little strange. I suggest tacking on, "Not a verb" onto, "'Starving' is only an adjective"


Overall, I give this poem 4 3/4 stars.


~Swiftfurthewarrior

The last 2 lines really stuck out to me. That was very clever.

Most people don't understand why I hate America so much. We're so privileged and don't even acknowledge what we have. This really shows the divide most people will discuss very seriously, but over a plate of steaming hot food, stuffing their faces without a second thought to anyone else who might need food.

I really like the perspective put into this poem. It keeps a really great rhythm and the title captured my attention. I hadn't expected the poem to be so meaningful. I'm the type of person who is mythical and I don't usually bring into perspective the truth of the world through my work.

Keep up the good work! I loved this!

That was probably the best poem I've read all day. Such a good message and so well written, too. The rhyme scheme was beautiful and everything flowed wonderfully. I honestly can't think of anything I would say to improve that, really, job well done! The last stanza was especially my favorite, it gave a very potent message, one we all need to hear, whether we are American or not.